“I’m not making this up,” she says, sounding appalled. “After the first time your father kissed me, he just stood there looking confused. I thought for sure the curse had struck again.”
“What happened after that?” I press.
“Well, I’d spent a month with this man, and I wasn’t about to let him get away. Your grandfather had great forearms. I’m a sucker for a nice-looking forearm.” She rubs her own as she talks. “Oh, and his butt. He had a great one of those too. Very nice and round.”
“Gross,” my dad says, and we all look up to see him standing there staring at us, the lobster mitt on his hand.
“I think the chicken is burning,” my mom says, pointing to the excessive smoke spewing from the grill.
“Dammit,” my dad mutters, grabbing a plate as he frantically tries to save dinner.
“So, what did you do after he was confused?” I ask Gigi, impatient to hear the rest of the story.
“Oh,” Gigi says, as if she’d forgotten what she was doing. “I wasn’t going to let the curse get him, so I grabbed him and laid one on him.”
“And that worked?” I ask.
Gigi gives me anAre you dumb?look, her head tilted slightly. “Of course it worked. He’s your grandfather.”
“Right,” I say, chuckling. “I mean, I’ve never thought to try to kiss someone again after the curse takes effect.”
“Well, it only worked because he hadn’t lost interest. Turns out, he was just nervous,” she says, giving me a shrug of her shoulders.
I think about this new version of Gigi’s story on my drive back to my apartment, my belly full of semi-overcooked chicken that my mom’s side dishes heroically saved.
What would have happened if Gigi had given up? Well, I wouldn’t be here—that’s one thing. But the fact that she tried again—that’s something I’ve never thought to do. I’ve never fought for any of my forty-nine cursed kisses. I’ve let them all walk—and some even run—away from me.
Had it never occurred to me to try again because, deep down, I never really wanted to? Were none of the men I’ve kissed worthy of a second round?
I bet Sam would love to put her two semesters of studying psychology to work analyzing that thought.
Chapter 5
PR Tip #38:Assume your opponent knows your next move. Then make a better one.
My hope that this PR war ends with the first shots fired is quickly extinguished.
The week after my call with Bailey looks like this: in response to her statement, which had fans siding with her, River (under the guidance of Luke, I’m sure) wears a T-shirt out in public that says “fool me once,” which the internet goes wild for.
This one muddied the waters, with some fans questioning Bailey, surmising the shirt meant this wasn’t her first offense, and some still blaming River.
Translation: It wasn’t good.
In retaliation, Bailey, who has finally stopped asking when Simone is coming back and accepted that I’m her contact now, once again wanted to take the high road. Which looked like me contacting her manager and having someone I tipped off photograph her out and about and looking unbothered.
It went as I hoped, because the post that came out from You Oughta Know literally said:Bailey Lockhart, out and about looking unbothered after recent breakup with River Rhodes.
Even so, it didn’t do the job because, according to Brandwatch, River’s T-shirt was still pulling sympathy, with some online influencers (including freaking You Oughta Know) already wearing shirts with the same slogan.
Which was . . . also not good.
Two days later, Luke must have decided to double down, perhaps to push the needle further in his favor, and he had River post another picture with his puppy, this time with him laughing, the fluffy thing licking his face. The caption said:Bear gets it. Good boy.
This had me wondering if maybe Bailey did need to adopt a puppy after all, because it totally worked. People were mostly siding with River again.
But Bailey, on the advice of someone in her camp, decided her best bet was to do nothing at all with this one. That was not good advice, and I told her that—kindly, of course. And I was right; as I suspected, it didn’t work.
Her silence was her admission, or so stupid You Oughta Know said in a post. Which was liked and shared tens of thousands of times. I really hate that account.
