Europeans and their silly low handheld nozzles. The American in me refused to use them as intended.
I pulled on a fresh pair of boxers and tried to shove away thoughts of the woman in the bed, but it was impossible. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. It made me mad, this totallack of self-control. Passing her off to someone else was what I should have done. If I’d notified Daniel as I was supposed to, she’d be moving through the Agency machine right now, and on her way to being gone forever from my life.
I couldn’t have that. Fuck, I was a selfish bastard.
Olivia quickly rolled over in the bed, turning her back to me when I emerged, but she wasn’t fast enough. I saw the tears glistening on her face and the hand she used to wipe them away. Seeing her vulnerable triggered more feelings I didn’t want to have. It prevented me from going to my suitcase and finishing my task of getting dressed.
“Where are you sleeping?” she asked in an emotionless voice.
I was exhausted, and the room was too small for me to sleep anywhere but the bed, unless I wanted to be balled up on the floor. Fletcher had assumed I wouldn’t be staying with the pilot, but I wasn’t about to leave her after what she’d been through.
“I can sleep on the—” I started.
She sighed, made as much room as she could, and tossed back the covers. “Come on.”
The tightness in my chest eased slightly. I wanted this more than I cared to admit. To simply lie beside her on that tiny mattress because I could use it as an excuse to be close. To fit her against me in my arms.
We’d already slept together, so it seemed unfair to not actuallysleepwith her.
Call Gio, my brain ordered, as the sheets were in my hands.
Don’t,it commanded when I settled down on the hard mattress. The slender curve of her neck beckoned to me. I wanted to kiss her there. But she was still trying to get her emotions in check, and I wasn’t going to take advantage of that.
She flinched when I adjusted my position, my arm against her, unavoidably touching her.
“You’re okay,” I whispered.
The only answer was her rapid, anxious breathing. Weremained like that for an eternity, both too exhausted and tense to be able to find sleep. It was bright outside, and even with the curtains drawn, our bodies were resistant.
“Do you have enough room?” It was impossible to tell if she was genuine or sarcastic.
“It’s fine.”
My feet hung off the edge of the mattress, but that wasn’t her fault, and I’d grown used to it.
Then, I couldn’t stand it any longer. Ihadto hold her, to offer security and comfort after what I’d done and what had happened. Would she allow it?
“I need to... get closer.” I hoped she couldn’t tell the true meaning of my words.
Abruptly, she sat upright, making the bed rock. She wrapped a hand around my arm that was closest to her and flung it onto her side of the bed. It was so she could lie down with my arm beneath her. Her warm cheek rested on my bare chest, her damp hair falling across my shoulder.
“I don’t usually do this,” she said.
I swallowed a breath and tightened my hold, pressing her against me. I turned my head toward her, brushing my lips over her hairline. “Me neither.”
18
OLIVIA
I turnedon the unforgiving mattress, the throbbing pain in my hand waking me. Where was I, again?
The sight of the crooked curtains reminded me. The tiny, shitty hotel room where I was sharing a bed with a massive man who’d cut me—and saved my life. Even after I’d nearly killed him. I’d curled up in his embrace, letting him hold me close, and to my shock, I didn’t mind. Maybe I even liked his strong arm clasped around me, just a little.
But something was wrong. I bolted upright on the bed when I realized the place beside me was empty. “Ethan?”
There was no response from the bathroom, and I could see the light was off in there.
“Ethan?”
