“And the other thing…” She blows out a breath. “Like I said, support is great, but I’m the one who has to change my life.”
“Change it… how?”
“I need a plan for my life. I need direction. I need to know who I am.”
“Okay.” I’m not sure where she’s going with that.
She tells me how she’s been drifting, not really happy with what she’s doing but telling herself she was too busy to change things. Too busy working at Uncle Ernie’s, helping her parents, planning a big birthday party. “But I think I was using everyone else’s needs to avoid working on myself. My own life.”
Well, shit. “That’s… wow.” My lungs expand big in my chest with love and pride. “I love you, Ayla.”
She blinks back more tears. “I love you.”
“You know… when we were at the resort and you said that you weren’t dating because men are just another job?”
“Yeah.” She cocks her head and picks up her coffee cup.
“You were talking about marriage and how women don’t need it and I said you were anti-marriage. And you said… just for you.”
She lowers her chin in acknowledgment.
With a hard knot in the pit of my stomach, I ask, “Is that true? Do you still want a divorce?”
27
AYLA
My heart is knocking against my ribs. I take note of Carson’s creased forehead, unblinking eyes, and tense mouth. He looks as anxious as I feel. “No.”
He expels air through barely parted lips and closes his eyes briefly. “So… we’re going to do this?”
“We need to talk about what ‘this’ looks like.”
He reaches across the table and takes my hand. “Okay. Tell me what you want.”
“It’s not what I want. It’s what’s best for us. For both of us.”
He lowers his chin.
“Let’s spend time together. Let’s go on dates. I’m thinking of going back to school.”
“Yeah?” His eyes brighten. “That’s great, Ayla.”
“Well. It means I’ll be busy: classes, homework, all that stuff.”
“Okay. Okay, I get it. I’ll help.”
“Thank you. I’m going to need support. Not just for school, but for when I have to tell my family no.”
“Oh yeah. Jesus. I’m there for you.”
“Thank you. But remember… I want yoursupport. I don’t need you to fix things for me.”
“Right.”
“Grandpa’s not going to be happy when I tell him. I might be able to work a bit, but not like I have been.”
Carson makes a face. “Yeah. I’ve got your back.”
