“That’s our hope.” I glance at Carson, who’s watching me.
“That’s such good news. I’m happy for you both.”
“Thanks, Grandma.” Is that what she called about? Maybe this is okay.
“Also, your grandfather told me about your plans to go to college.”
My gut contracts again. “Yes, that’s right.”
“How could you do that to him? He needs you.”
I close my eyes.
Carson’s hand lands on my back in a gentle press. I take a breath and open my eyes to meet his reassuring gaze. “I’m sorry, Grandma.”
“He’s very upset. I’m worried about him.”
“Oh no.” I press my hand to my chest. “What’s wrong? Is he okay?”
“I hope so.”
Carson’s forehead creases.
“Grandma, I’m not going back to school until September. We have lots of time to figure this out.”
“Well, he’s worried now.”
Inhale. Exhale.“What do you want me to do?”
Carson’s frown deepens.
I make a face at him.
“I want you to rethink your plans. Your family needs you.”
Those words.
Those words that used to make me feel so good. So needed. So loved, even.
But I am loved. I know my family does love me and they’ll still love me even if I don’t do what Grandma and Grandpa want. Carson loves me. I love me.
I felt so stuck. I felt like all I was good for was helping my family. Working in the restaurant, looking after them. How hopeless I felt that anything could change. My whole life had to fall apart for me to realize Icanchange things.
I lift my chin. “I’m not going to do that. But I’ll help Grandpa find a solution. We’ll find someone good who can take over for me.”
“Oh, Ayla.” Her disappointment makes me wince.
Stay strong.
I swallow past the golf ball stuck in my throat. “I hope you can understand that this is important to me.”
She’s silent.
“We can talk more another time. I think when Grandpa has a chance to sit with this for a while, he’ll understand. Bye, Grandma.”
I end the call and lower my phone. I meet Carson’s eyes.
He smiles at me. “That’s my girl.”
