The jab takes a few seconds to dig in. “Aww, you’re so sweet!” I say brightly. “Bless your heart. And I love what you’re trying to do with your hair.”
She blinks.
Carson makes a choking noise.
I look over at Rachel and read the aggravation on her face. She wanted to talk to Xander alone and now we’re all standing here with them and Xander is focused on Emma. But she feels she has to look out for me.
“Excuse me,” I say. “I’m going to use the ladies’ room. So lovely to meet you, Emma. And you, Xander. I’m eager to look around at more of your work.”
I hoof it across the hardwood floor toward the entrance where I noticed signs for bathrooms when we came in. I head down the hall and duck into the ladies’ room. There are a coupleof women at the sinks, chatting and applying lipstick. I give them a brief smile and lock myself into a cubicle.
I’m fine. I’m fine.I let out a long exhale.
Nobody likes seeing their ex with someone else, right? It’s definitely not that I still hold hopes of getting back together with Carson. Our marriage disintegrated in the months following the accident. We were both miserable. Ending things was best for both of us. And since he moved out, I’ve been… well, I’d like to say I’ve been finding my way and purpose as a single woman, but looking back now on the last eleven months, I feel like I’ve been… spinning my wheels. Like I’m stuck.
The ladies depart and I take a few deep breaths, then square my shoulders and leave the cubicle. I wash my hands, touch up my lip gloss, and fluff my hair. I would have taken a little more trouble if I’d known I’d run into Carson.
No, I wouldn’t. I don’t care what he thinks of me.
Yes, I do.
But whyyyyyy? I drop my head back and stare at the ceiling.
Well, this is something for me to sort out at a better time. I can’t hide in here all evening.
I sling my purse over my shoulder and march out of the bathroom.
Carson stands in the hall.
Fuck.
My insides go fluttery, my mouth dry.
“Hey,” he says in his low, raw silk voice. “How are you?”
“Good!” I flash a laser-bright grin. “Great! How about you?”
“Good,” he echoes, almost reflexively, I think. He studies my face.
“So you’re dating again.”Shit.I didn’t mean to say that.
“Yeah.” One corner of his mouth hooks up. “You?”
“Phhht.” I roll my eyes. “I’m not interested in that. Ever. Haven’t you heard? Women are happier without men.”
“Oh.”
“Women want equitable, mutual, respectful relationships where both people are openly sharing their concerns and their feelings,” I add.
His eyes narrow.
“We’ve had enough man-keeping.”
“Man-keeping.”
“Yes.”
I run my thumb back and forth over my bare left ring finger. Rachel’s suggestion is twirling around in my head. Maybe I should be a little more friendly to him, if I’m going to ask for a favor. Damn.
