“Congrats, team,” I say out loud to my imaginary teammates, locking the door behind me. “We made it through another day.”
I walk through the house and climb the stairs to the second floor. As always, I stop at the door of the room that was Kane’s, even though he barely slept there. I sweep the shadowy room with my gaze. I haven’t changed anything here. There’s still a crib, a changing table, a dresser, a big, comfy chair where I often sat to nurse him in the night. In those days, being in a dark, quiet house with my baby seemed peaceful and beautiful. Not lonely and joyless.
3
CARSON
“Look, I can tell you’re frustrated.”
Trev shrugs. “Yeah. Of course.”
He’s in a scoring slump. He’s our third line center, a young guy, but talented. The third line’s been struggling lately. We’ve all been there.
“I know you want to play well. And I know youcanplay well. These things happen. It’s like, the harder you try to score, the harder it is.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“What do you think is going on?”
“I don’t know.” He rubs the back of his neck, then lifts his chin. “I think I’m working hard.”
“Sometimes, the goals just don’t come. Sometimes, you can be playing your best game and the puck’s just not going in the net.”
“What do you think I should work on?”
“I’ll stay with you after practice. We can work on a few things.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“Anything else going on with you?” I narrow my eyes at him. Things off the ice can affect how guys play. I sure as hell wasn’t at my best after I came back from losing my son, a broken arm, and with my marriage disintegrating.
“Nope.” He meets my eyes.
“Because if there’s anything you need help with, there are lots of supports.”
We’ve had players addicted to prescription meds who ended up in rehab, players who were alcoholics, players with mental health issues. Our goalie Archie discovered he was a father when the woman he’d hooked up with left their three-month-old baby with him unexpectedly. That didn’t help his focus at all. We all have personal lives.
Finally, Trev says, “My wrist has been bothering me.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not making excuses. But since I broke my thumb last year, sometimes, my wrist hurts. Not all the time.”
“Does Coach know about this?”
“No.”
“How about Mikey?” Mikhail, our head trainer.
He shakes his head.
“Let him have a look. Set you up to see the doc if need be.”
His face tightens. “Yeah. Okay.”
After practice, the two goalies stay on with our goalie coach Pete at one end of the ice, Trev and me at the other end.
I face Trev and skate backward. “You know what?”
