She gives a tiny eye roll. “Why would you do that?”
“Because…” I slump, head bowed. “I felt like a failure. I couldn’t keep my marriage together.”
Nonna is silent. So is Carson. When I finally peek at her, her face is soft. Maybe she feels sorry for me. For sure, she’s disappointed in me.
I turn to Carson. Unlike Nonna, he looks stunned.
A rock settles in my gut. That’s how I felt. I mean, I still do, but I’m not going to lie to people about it a year later.
“Look at this family.” I sweep a hand out, even though we’re the only Cavaggionis here. “Everyone’s happily married, if they’re not widowed. They’re procreating and their kids are procreating. Even gay great-uncle Antonio was in a long-term relationship with his partner! I’m the only person here divorced.”
Carson frowns.
Nonna’s eyebrows slope downward. “Ayla.”
I blink at the sting of tears in my eyes. I don’t want pity. That’s what I was afraid of.
“That is not a failure,” Nonna says.
“That’s how I feel.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Carson says.
I slide him a daggered look, then turn back to Nonna. I can’t tell her that Carson and I slept together this weekend. That we talked a lot without fighting. That maybe… it might not be too late for us. That might give her false hope that we can work things out. And I’m not sure myself if we can.
“I meant it when I said we could all see how in love you two are. You may have been trying to put on an act, but nobody acts that well.” She pauses. “Your cousin Rachel thinks you two still have feelings for each other.”
“What? No, she doesn’t!”
“It was her idea for you to bring Carson here, wasn’t it?”
“How’d you know… Oh my God.” I stare at Nonna. “She knew you knew? Wait! Was it her who told you?”
“I said it doesn’t matter. Rachel was trying to help.”
“How is that helping?” I think I’m losing my mind. What is even happening?
“It washeridea?” Carson glowers at me.
“Well…” I think back. “Yes. She suggested it. I told her it was crazy, but then… it seemed like it might work.”
“Jesus.” He rubs his forehead.
I sit there with my head buzzing to the point of pain, my neck and shoulders tight.
“You still have feelings for each other,” Nonna says. “Is it possible you could work things out?”
My eyes shoot open. I look at Carson and our gazes collide in a burst of heat.
We just agreed we would talk about that. But that hasn’t happened yet and… I chew on the inside of my bottom lip. I don’t know what to say.
“We can’t go back in time,” Nonna adds. “But sometimes, we get a chance to do something right the second time that we didn’t get right the first time.” She looks between us.
My throat constricts. I glance at Carson again. His expression is as confused as I feel.
“Gia.” Carson finally speaks. His tone is gentle, but firm. “I know your intentions were good, but Ayla’s and my relationship is between us. You have to trust us to do what’s best for us.”
Nonna nods, an impressed smile on her face. “You are right. Absolutely. I just have one more thing to say. A second chance isn’t just going back to the way things were before. You two have been changed by losing your son. So… it can be about a new beginning. About growing and learning together.”
