Ben stared at me like he hated me. Two minutes ago, I wouldn’t have thought this man capable of such an expression, but he’d just proved how little I knew about him.
“I-I’m sorry,” I whispered, so hollow I didn’t know how I’d found the air to speak. “I won’t bother you again.”
He pulled back, his gaze darting over me, then he nodded. “Good luck with everything. And please do not come back here.”
I stumbled backward until I hit a brick wall—the only thing keeping me from falling. That wasn’t…even in my worst nightmares, I never would’ve imagined he’d react that way. At the very least, I’d thought he’d be happy to see me, and maybe, eventually, come around to being happy about the baby too.
But he’d…denied ever knowing me. He wanted nothing to do with his baby.
Oh, holy hell. How had I gotten here?
I put my phone to my ear. My dad picked up in two rings. “Daddy?”
He must have heard it in my voice. He knew. “Come home, sweetheart. Come home, and I’ll take care of you.”
Six Months Later…
I would never get over the sound of my baby girl falling asleep before surgery. The high-pitched inhales as the anesthesiologist held the mask over her tiny face. Her eyelids fluttering then falling closed with such finality, it felt likeIwas taking my last breath. Leaving her there on that big table, though…made everything that had come before pale in comparison.
I worried. Fretted. Paced while my father watched me, endlessly patient. We’d been through this same procedure on her right eye two weeks earlier, but that hadn’t made it easier.Little babies shouldn’t have to endure surgery. It didn’t make sense to me. Katty was only three months old and still so small for her age at eleven pounds. This was too much. For her, forme…
“She’s going to be fine,” my dad promised, knowing I wouldn’t believe him.
“Right,” I said, still pacing around the cramped hospital room.
“She’ll be able to see, Mazz. Her world is going to open up.”
“I know.” I shoved my fingers through my hair. “I know this has to happen, I just can’t stand it.”
He crossed his legs, resting his arms on his knees. “I guess I should count myself lucky you had your surgeries before we met, so I didn’t have to go through this.”
I puffed up my cheeks and blew out a great gust of air. “I don’t want to think about that.”
If I did, I’d wind down a path leading to a swamp of guilt and throw myself in face first. Kateryna had inherited my eye problems. She had bilateral congenital cataracts. The moment she was born, I’d spotted her cloudy eyes and known.
Her doctors had already successfully removed the cataract in her first eye. Today, they were removing the second. Then we’d be on an endless cycle of eye drops, changing her lenses, and crossing our fingers that she’d heal well and have decent eyesight.
He caught my hand in his as I paced past him. “It isn’t your fault, sweetheart. These things happen. Katty will be A-OK.”
Sucking in a breath, I looked at him, and my heart lurched. My dad was the most gentle person I had ever known. His hair had gone white early, and without my papa to remind him to comb it, it stuck out on the sides like chicks’ fluff. His eyes were melted chocolate, soft and sweet. He’d worn the same glasses for as long as I’d known him, and based on pictures I’d seen, he’d been rocking the same square frames since the early nineties.
From her first breath, he had been with me every moment of Katty’s life. I couldn’t have done it without him. I knew that without a doubt. But he’d never made me find out.
We weren’t rich. Our lives were simple and sometimes strained—especially with Katty’s medical bills and my student loans. But we had each other, and most of the time, that was enough.
“I’ll feel better when she’s in my arms.”
“We both will,” he agreed.
It didn’t take long for my daughter to be returned to me. When she woke, she was cranky and disoriented, but I’d never felt more relieved.
“Hi, Katty girl,” I cooed. “Mommy’s here, baby. You’re going to feel so much better soon.”
She cried the howl of a baby who’d been deeply wronged and slammed her face into my chest—not great considering she’d just had eye surgery, but we’d been through this once before. I knew what she wanted, what might make her feel better, even temporarily. I put her to my breast, and both of us sighed when she latched.
My dad got up from his seat to kiss the top of my head. “My girls are pretty as a picture together.”
I looked up at him, blinking back the burning in my eyes. “How am I thinking of him right now?”
