She sucked in a breath. “Of course you are.” Then she let it out. “Do you want me to send you some pictures?”
I almost said yes, but stopped myself. “Is it crazy that I want to see her in person first?”
“Not crazy, no. That’s how I first saw her.”
I laughed. “I guess it is. I want to know about that—about everything. I have a million questions for you.”
“I’ll answer anything you want to know about Katty.”
I heard her line in the sand. She’d be an open book about Katty. Anything else? Doubtful.
“Tomorrow, Mazz. I can’t wait.”
“See you tomorrow, Ben.”
I’d screwed up a lot in my life, but I vowed I would get this right.
There was no other option.
Chapter Eleven
Ben
Igottotheplayground a half hour early. Since lurking there without a kid in tow didn’t feel right, I went to a nearby café to kill some time. Once I got there, everything that could go wrong did. First, a fan spotted me and drew me into a conversation I couldn’t find my way out of. Normally, I was all about shooting the breeze with rugby enthusiasts, but not today.
I eventually managed to extricate myself, only to have a cup of ice coffee spilled down my shirt. So I took myself to the bathroom and made a valiant effort to rinse it off so my daughter didn’t have to meet her dad looking like a slob. I did an okay job, but when I tried to get out of the bathroom, the handle just spun and spun in circles. I had to bang on the door for a few minutes before someone let me out.
Needless to say, by the time I was racing back to the park, I was frazzled. Late, sweaty, smelling like coffee. Mazzy probablythought I wasn’t going to show, and Ihatedmyself for giving her even a second of doubt. She’d already had five years of it.
I found her standing beside a bench, her arms crossed, eyes on the playground. Just like the first time I saw her, her hair sucked up the light and reflected it back like a piece of shiny glass. I couldn’t say the rest of her was the same, though. But five years was a long time. A lot of life had happened between now and then.
She’d been heartbroken when we met. A little lost too. Now…she looked like she had her shit together in her neat, professional clothes and the sharpness in her gaze. This situation was already intimidating, but seeing her like that, when I was coffee stained and bedraggled, put me even more on my back foot.
I skidded to a stop beside her, panting. “I’m here, I’m here.”
She turned to me, her lips parting in surprise. “Oh, hey. I was beginning to think you weren’t going to make it.”
“I know. God, I know. I was here early, so I went to get coffee.” I gestured to my stained T-shirt. “There were a few incidents, including getting locked in a bathroom and freaking the fu—” Oh no, I couldn’t cuss now that I was a dad. I had to remember that. “The heck out.”
To my surprise, she let out a soft giggle, and it softened the hard edges that hadn’t been there five years ago. “You look like you’ve been through hell and back.”
“Yeah.” I scanned my shirt. In the daylight, the coffee stain was even more evident. So much for my cleanup job. “Not the first impression I wanted to make.”
Her nose crinkled. “Luckily, Katty’s not the judgmental sort.”
“Um, so—” I glanced at the kids on the play structure. They looked like little ants from this distance and I didn’t even try to pick out which one might’ve been mine. “She’s here, right?”
“Yeah.” Mazzy tipped her head toward the slide. “I told her we were meeting a friend, so I thought maybe we could let her come over when she’s ready. If I try to drag her off the playground, she might be pissed off.”
“Makes sense.” I leaned closer. “Are we allowed to cuss around here? Isn’t it against the rules?”
“Well, I don’t cuss out children, but I’m not sure if there are any official rules on the matter.” Her eyes glinted with mischief, bringing me back to the time we spent together. I liked seeing her that way.
Yesterday had been…dark. She’d seemed so tired and serious. I mean, I got it. I’d been pretty out of my mind since she told me about Katty. But standing here with her now, it was better.
“There she comes,” Mazzy singsonged.
With my heart in my throat, I spotted the little person running toward us and my knees went weak.
