Ace chuckles. “Obsessed, tormented, consumed.”
“Wow, I—” I blink, unsure how to take that.
He surprises me again. “Honestly, if I had my choice, I’d cut Jack right out of the picture.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because I’m worried that Jack will click his fingers and you’ll run to him and never look back.”
“Oh, Ace, I wouldn’t do that.” How can he think that after what we’ve shared?
He arches an eyebrow. “You sure about that? He’s a possessive man, from what I knew of him and his wife, and I imagine he might want you for himself. What if he does?”
I sit up and swing my leg over his lap, so I’m straddling him. “I’m sure, Ace. I’m not just going to dump everyone else for Jack, even if he asked me to.”
It might be crazy, but I have feelings for Ace, and Rook that are strong in their own right. Different but still strong. I don’t think I could simply walk away from them, and just be with Jack, seeing them every day. It would be impossible.
I place my forehead to his then kiss his mouth. Our tongues touch, sliding across each other, and I roll my hips, seeking his hardness.
Ace freezes. His hands go to my waist, halting my movements.
“We shouldn’t.”
My stomach lurches, and I quickly climb off him. I sit on the edge of the couch and cover my face with my hands.
“Do I disgust you now? Is it because you know all those men saw that happening to me, and that they—” I can’t even say the words.
“No! Hell, no. How could you think that?”
“It’s what I think of myself.”
“Princess, you’re perfect. Nothing anyone else could ever do to you will change that. Don’t give them that power.”
“Then why…?”
Why didn’t he want me?
“You need time to heal. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for.”
I let out a sigh. “Ace, did it seem like I didn’t want you?”
“No, but…” he drags his hand through his mop of light brown curls, “I’m just not sure I’m the right man to help you through your trauma. What if this is a reaction to what happened, and not the healthiest one? Maybe if you have a few days to think, you’ll realize you need some time without… sex.”
The last thing I need is time to think. I will go mad if I sit around contemplating and reliving what happened to me. “I want to feel like myself again. When I was going through all of that, I pictured myself right back here, with you and Rook, and how incredible that was. Being with the two of you was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. How could I not want to repeat that?”
“You mean you want Rook, too, even after what he did?” Ace’s jaw tightens.
“I’m not going to pretend like I won’t struggle a little not to take myself back into that outbuilding with those men. But I’m worried about Rook, and what he’s going through. I know you’re angry at him, but he was tortured, too. I don’t blame him in any way for what happened. He really did save me, in his own way. I hatethat he might be struggling now.” I think about what Ghost told me about how I shouldn’t blame myself and everyone reacts differently in those moments, and I think the same applies to Rook. “I don’t think anyone who wasn’t there should judge Rook.”
Ace considers this for a moment. “Would it help if you could see him?”
My heart lifts. “Yes, it would. But… does he want to see me?”
“I haven’t asked him directly, but I think he’d be a total fucking idiot if he didn’t.”
Ace gets to his feet and plucks his cell out of his pocket. He swipes his finger across the screen, hits call, and puts it on loudspeaker. It rings a couple of times, and then a subdued Rook answers.
“What’s up, man?”
