“It’s just… witches are known for our magic. For channeling that energy and manifesting it. So why do I always feel like magic is controllingme?” I walked over to the stone pedestal, tracing the grooved pentacle carved on the slab. “I used to come here as a teenager.Willinglycome here. Now, it seems I justend uphere. Usually when something bad is happening.”
Liam shook his head. “This is your place, Gray. You can access it any time you wish.”
“Not anymore.”
“You’ve suppressed your natural magic for many years. You’re just out of practice.”
I considered his words, trying not to fan the flames of hope kindling up inside me. If I could find a way to control it, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe I could reconnect with this place, get rid of that creepy black forest. Open myself up to the joy I used to feel with Calla, long before my magic turned dark.
“It’s a matter of stilling your mind,” Liam said. “You need to learn to be fully present, casting your mind here while you can still feel—and be in complete control of—your body on the physical plane.”
“So… meditation?”
“Some call it that, yes.”
It made sense. Calla was big on meditation, too. She used to say a quiet mind was a witch’s sharpest magical tool. I’d never fully understood that as a kid.
“Can you teach me?” I asked him.
Liam smiled, and the sight of it took my breath away. He really was beautiful, and not just physically. His otherworldly presence lent an almost imperceptible glow to him, a richness that radiated outward, drawing me in.
“I thought you didn’t want any part of your magic,” he teased.
“I’m not sure the universe is giving me a choice.”
At this, he turned serious, the arctic ice eyes brightening. “There is always a choice Gray. But if you don’t make it, others will do it for you. So…” He spread his hands before him like an invitation. “Who’s going to makeyourchoices?”
* * *
“You’re doing great, Gray. See? This isn’t as foreign as you feared.”
I beamed, inhaling the fresh lavender- and lilac-scented air around me. Liam and I had only been practicing for an hour, but already I felt the transformation inside me. I was reconnecting with my magic place, and our bond manifested here, too, in the crisp spring air and the lushness of the meadow, blanketed with new growth.
The black forest around us had remained still and silent. It hadn’t encroached further, but it hadn’t retreated, either, and the path that led from my stone pedestal to the archway and the Shadowrealm beyond still beckoned.
Liam noticed me eyeing up the dark path. “That is just as much a part of you as the flowers and the grass, Gray. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can tap into the rest of your gifts.”
A shudder rippled through my body, and deep in my gut, an ember of magic ignited. I closed my eyes, neither resisting it nor encouraging it, and the ember sparked another, then another. Soon, it roiled and bubbled inside me, sending heat and electric tingles to my limbs.
“That’s it,” Liam said. “Welcome it. Connect with it. Bring it in to—”
“No!” I opened my eyes and sucked in air, forcing the embers to cool. I didn’t want that all-consuming feeling, that complete lack of control, the mysterious power that had compelled me to kill a vampire without remorse, to take Travis’s soul, to become someone I no longer recognized.
But even though the heat inside me had subsided, black vines crept over my feet again, pulling and tugging…
“You must not fear it,” Liam said, frustration edging his tone. “You must learn to control it. You must—”
“I’m not ready for all those musts.” I tore away from the vines, stomping them down again. “I just—”
A new sensation crept across my skin, cold and icy. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.
“Someone’s here,” I whispered, narrowing my eyes and peering into the trees. I’d gotten used to the silvery eyes that lurked there, but this was different. This was wrong. “I can feel a presence. He’s watching me.”
Liam seemed unfazed. “You must learn to use your magic, Gray. Or Rest assured, it will be used against you.”
I nodded. He was right. I knew it intellectually. Ifeltit. But learning how to pop into my magical realm on command was very different from calling up that strange, dark power. Liam kept telling me it was my birthright, that it was a gift. But no matter how many ways I tried to look at it, all I saw was a curse.
“I want to accept this,” I said, clenching my fists to keep the fear at bay. Magic pulsed through me again, calling to the black vines at my feet. They twisted closer again, teasing me. “But I—”
