But then she leaned in close, her lips brushing mine in the dark, squalid damp of that room, giving me just enough hope to hang on a little longer.
“Then let me do this for you,” she whispered, and I was gone, melting beneath the hot press of her mouth on my neck. Her kisses were like the best kind of fire, burning a path across my skin, lighting me up inside and out.
With one hand, she reached down the front of my pants, fisting my cock in a tight, perfect grip that made me moan.
It took everything in me to grab her hand and stop her.
Gray growled in frustration. “Damn it, Ash, we don’t have time. What is your problem?”
“If I hurt you—”
“You won’t.”
“You can’t know that.”
She stilled, finally considering my words. After a beat, she blew out a breath and said softly, “I remind you of her, right?”
Every muscle in my body stilled.
I didn’t have to ask her who she meant.
“No, you don’t.” I reached for her face again, not bothering to hide the ghosts in my eyes. She knew them. She’d always known them. “She’s…”
“She’s what?” Gray whispered.
“She’s… not a story for nice girls.” I dropped my hand, hoping she’d let it go. Hoping thatIcould let it go. Leave it in the past where it belonged before that memory finally did me in for good.
Gray slid her hands into the back of my hair, stroking my skin.
“I don’t know what happened to you before,” she said softly, even though I knew she’d seen it. She might not understand the details, but the night she’d tried my soul on for size, she’d witnessed me killing the first woman I’d ever really loved—witnessed it throughmyeyes. My memories. Much as I thought I could spare her by not taking about it, it’d probably haunted her dreams as often as it haunted mine.
“Gray—”
“It’s different with us,” she said.
“Youwantit to be different,” I said. “Believe me, Cupcake, so do I. But that’s doesn’t make it so.”
“Maybe it does.” She shrugged, the corner of her mouth lifting in a smile. “Intention, right? That’s what magic is.”
“But—”
“Listen. I’ve healed you before. That night in the woods, with the cougar? My magic, coupled with the earth magic, was enough to heal you with one kiss. Well, I’m even stronger now, and if you’d stop being such a stubborn dick about things, you’d be getting a hell of a lot more than one kiss.”
It sounded logical, but it was still a risk.
“Look,” she said, finally getting pissed. “It’s the only thing I can think of to try. If my magic can heal you, maybe it’s enough to strengthen your blood and your immune system to destroy those damn nano-bots.”
“Maybe it is,” I said. “But at what cost?”
“What if there are no costs with us? What if there are only benefits?”
“I want a guarantee.”
“You don’t get one. Not in this life. Not for anything. You get hope. And when you do, you fucking take it, because hope is as precious a gift as anyone can offer.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but she cut me off with a kiss, and that was the end of my protests.
No more talking. Fearing. Guessing.
