All three of them were looking at me with pity in their eyes, like I was a little kid who kept insisting Santa was real, no matter how many times he’d forgotten our address.
It stung. Not because they didn’t trust Liam—they didn’t know him like I did, and trust had to be earned—I understood that. But because it felt like they didn’t trust me.
No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I’d always be their weakest link.
“Gray,” Ronan began, but I shook my head, grabbing the stack of dishes I’d dropped. I brought them out to the kitchen and loaded up the dishwasher, then put away the leftovers and washed all the pans Asher had used.
When I’d calmed down enough to trust that I wouldn’t lash out at them again, I returned to the dining room.
They were right where I’d left them, silent and unmoving.
“Okay,” I said, and they all looked up. “I have alotto learn, and zero time to do it. Self-defense, tactical fighting, first aid, basic survival techniques, magic… Forget crash course. I need a full-on wreck.”
I pulled out a chair, taking a seat next to Emilio.
“I trust you guys,” I went on. “I trust that you’re doing what you think is best, that you know how to deal with certain things that I don’t, and it goes without saying you have alotmore experience.”
“It’s not about experience,” Emilio said, but I held up my hand.
“I know I haven’t always made the best decisions,” I said, “but I’m trying. Maybe I don’t deserve it yet, but I’m asking for your trust, too. I’m asking you to believe me when I say I’m keeping an open mind with all of you, and I’m doing the best I can.”
“You’re doingawesome,” Ronan said, and to my surprise, Asher nodded. “We understand that a lot of this is new for you. It’s new for us, too, Gray. I’m sorry for what I said about Liam. I’m willing to give him a shot, but you gotta know you’re our main concern.”
“We get that he’s helping you,” Asher said. “But Death… Liam… He’s still an unknown quantity.That’swhat concerns us.”
“I hear you,” I said, looking at each of them in turn. “And I know you guys have my back. I appreciate that more than you know. But in all this worrying about Death and hunters and rogue vamps and who knows what other monsters we haven’t faced yet, you keep forgetting something really important.”
Emilio slid his arm around the back of my chair, his fingers brushing my shoulder. His warm brown eyes swept down my face, then back up again, his brow wrinkled in concern. “What is it,querida?”
I swallowed hard, dropping my voice to a whisper. “I’m an unknown quantity, too.”
Three men—all of whom I cared about—stared at me in disbelief, as if it would never occur to them that I could be anything other than the woman staring right back at them. Unpredictable, sure. A little complicated, definitely. But not a stranger. Not unknowable.
I wished I could reassure them, could crack a joke and a smile and tease them for being so serious.
But deep down, Iwasunknowable—even to myself. Every day I was unearthing new facets, new emotions, new powers, new fears, new strengths.
New dangers.
Liam had once told me I had no idea what I was capable of. He’d said it like it was a good thing, but to me, it was a double-edged sword.
It meant I might put my skills and magic to use fighting for my friends, saving the witches, and eradicating the world of hunters and anyone else who meant us harm.
But it also meant I could just as easily turn on my so-called allies. Or lose myself in the magic. Or end a life rather than saving one. Liam had said as much that first night when I’d asked him what a Shadowborn was.
WhatIwas.
They are necromancers in the truest sense of the word. They have the capacity to give life, to save it, or to destroy it. And they are, all of them, bound to me…
“Doesn’t matter. We’re with you either way.”
The words broke into my thoughts, and I was surprised to discover it was Asher who’d spoken them.
When I met his eyes, he locked me in an intense gaze, serious and sincere.
“Don’teverdoubt that,” he said, and in that moment, despite our constant sparring and all the unresolved stuff between us, Ididn’tdoubt it.
It seemed we’d all reached a new level of understanding. Hopefully, they’d give Liam a chance and we could all move forward with our plans.
