I’d assumed it would be a good starting point for my lesson with Liam today, but the closer we got, the farther away the pedestal became until it simply vanished altogether.
Shocked into silence, I turned to Liam for an explanation.
“It is ever-evolving, Gray,” he said. “Now that you’ve reconnected and more fully opened yourself up to it, your magic will change to best suit your needs, guiding you first toward a deeper knowledge of Self, and then toward awareness of your place in this world and those beyond.”
“So, the pedestal—”
“Is no longer needed. It guided you here on your initial visits after many years, almost like a homing beacon. But now it’s time for something new to take its place.”
He gestured for me to look around, and I did, slowly taking in the changing landscape. In addition to the vanishing pedestal, the spring-green meadow had also begun to fade, first taking on a blue-gray hue, and then darkening as the grass retreated into the ground, revealing freshly turned earth. In its place, new growth poked through. At first, I thought it was grapevine, slowly churning up the dirt. But the vines quickly dried, transforming into dark, sharp-toothed brambles.
We continued onward, finding a grassy rise still untouched.
Liam and I sat together on the rise, my shoulder brushing against his shadowy robe as we watched the brambles twist and turn across the meadow.
The black forest surrounding us remained unchanged, its branches draped in silver tinsel, but otherwise as stark and bare as the first night I’d seen them.
The night I’d brought Bean back from the dead.
“What about that?” I asked, nodding toward the second path, a dark, narrow trail that led to the stone arch and gateway marking the entrance to the Shadowrealm.
“The Shadowrealm remains unchanged,” he said. “As ever. The two realms share a mystical border—one that remained hidden from you until your deeper powers began to manifest—but they are two different places, operating under very different metaphysical rules.”
I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them close, fighting off a chill. “You’re going to make my head explode again, aren’t you?”
“Believe it or not,” he said, “exploding heads are a bit outside my skill set. But Iwillask you to ponder the greater mysteries on occasion, if that’s okay.”
My lips curved into a smile. As much as Death was helping me explore the depths of my magic, it seemed I was helping him explore a sense of humor.
“What happens now?” I asked, rubbing the chill from my arms.
“What would you like to see happen?”
It was a big question, one with as many answers as there were stars in this otherworldly sky. But on a fundamental level, I needed to learn control.
“I’d like you to teach me how to access the magic without taking too much,” I said, thinking of the undead creatures that had attacked me and Asher. “Or too little.”
“It’s not enough to simply access the magic, Gray. You must reclaim it fully and continue to nurture it through dedicated study and practice. And you also must learn to protect yourself—from outside influences, as well as from your own.”
I understood the part about outside influences. Though I experienced the realm as a physical place, my actual body was still on earth, in a deeply meditative state that I couldn’t always control. That kind of situation left me extremely vulnerable to physical and psychic attacks, especially if anything went wrong with the shield—another aspect I hadn’t yet learned to control or call up on command.
But myowninfluences?
“How do I protect myself from… myself?” I asked, more confused than ever.
“I’m referring to your thoughts. Your fears and doubts, your insecurities, your resistance. Negative thoughts are pollutants, Gray, eroding this place just as they erode your confidence and spirit. They may come to you unbidden, but you must practice letting them pass. Do not nurture and encourage them. Do not actively create an environment in which those thoughts can multiply and thrive.”
I tilted my face up toward the stars, trying to take it all in. This place. His words. Everything that had happened. Everything we’d yet to face.
Everything roiling inside me.
“You’re still judging your magic—yourself—as evil,” he continued, “and until you can escape that mental prison, you will never gain the control you seek.”
“I just… I don’t understand why it even exists,” I said. “Necromancy. Soul manipulation. Everything about it is unnatural.”
“It is part of you, Gray. Itisyou. In the simplest terms, it can’t possibly be unnatural, becauseyouare not unnatural.”
“A lot of people would argue otherwise.”
