But I couldn’t do that. So instead, I wrapped my arms around her and crushed her to my chest again, burying my face in her neck, inhaling her scent.
Fuck you, Sebastian. Fuck. You.
After spending lifetimes upon lifetimes as his demonic slave, I’d finally come to realize something about Sebastian’s nature. He wasn’t evil because he traded in souls and flesh. He was evil because he turned love into a weakness, a weapon he could use to twist and manipulate and bend others to his will. More than claiming my soul, more than lying to me for centuries about my origins, more than the abuse he doled out on every visit,thatwas the thing I most resented him for.
I’d fallen in love with Gray. And he’d taken her from me.
“I love you,” I whispered, knowing full well this was the only place I could ever say it out loud again. I pressed my thumb against her lips and looked into her eyes and poured everything I felt into them, into her, wanting her to take these words and burn them deep inside her, like scars she’d carry long after we reached our inevitable end.
She stared into my eyes, her own shiny with tears. “I love you, too, Ronan. Always.”
“Always.” My heart cracked wide open at the word. It tasted like a lie. Not because I didn’t mean it, but becausealwaysno longer belonged to us.
In truth, it never had.
Thirty
Gray
We’re deep in the forest, tracking a white-tailed deer who’s been eluding us for hours. Beneath the light of a full moon, my companion grins and holds a finger to his lips, and I peer out through the trees in the direction of his gaze.
The deer grazes in the clearing. A buck, with huge interlaced horns and a gleaming tawny coat.
He is beautiful in a way that makes my heart ache.
I step on a twig, snapping it, and the deer bolts.
“Hurry,” my guide whispers, disappearing ahead, and I run to catch up. I don’t want to disturb the buck, but I don’t want to lose my way in this dark wood.
As long as the man is with me, I know I’m safe. He is my guide, and I trust him implicitly.
But I’ve lost him.
“Hello?” I call out. “Where are you?”
Something rustles the brush ahead, and race toward the sound. My guide is gone, and three women stand before me, all dressed in white, each holding a silver sword.
The first one is blonde like me, with long, muscular legs and expressive brown eyes.
The second has the same expressive eyes, but her hair is dark, wrapped in a braid around the top of her head.
The last is thin and pale, her dark head shorn. While the others are wearing dresses, she’s dressed in a hospital gown. There’s something so familiar about her, but I just can’t place it.
“Don’t follow him,” they say in unison. “He is not what you believe.”
I look down in my hands. I’m holding a sword too, but I don’t want it. I don’t need it. I toss it at their feet and run to catch up with my guide.
He’s waiting for me at the edge of the clearing, but as soon as I get close, he smiles at me and disappears into the trees again.
He’s teasing me.
I don’t mind.
I mean to follow him into the trees, but the women are before me again, blocking my way.
“Don’t follow,” they say, their swords piercing the earth at their feet. Again, a sword appears in my hand.
Again, I drop it.
