“It was the only way,” I repeated. “I never would’ve agreed to it otherwise.”
Ronan didn’t argue the point. He bowed his head, shaking it slowly. “I never should’ve brought you through the hell portal. We wouldn’t be in this mess if I’d found another way.”
“We wouldn’t beanywhere. We’d be dead, or zombies with no memories. We wouldn’t even remember each other, Ronan.” I took a chance and stepped close to him again, ignoring the protests of the hounds. Ronan’s eyes locked on mine, his lips pressed tight together, the muscles of his jaw flexing.
I brushed my fingertips along his jawline. They came away singed, leaving a trail of charred hair in his beard.
I wasn’t allowed to touch the man I loved. Sebastian’s cruelty was truly limitless.
Swallowing the knot in my throat, I said, “What happened after we got through the portal? Where is Darius? Is he… does he remember anything?”
Ronan met me with dead eyes. No longer black, but no longer warm and familiar, either. It was as if he was shutting down.
“He’s in rough shape. He attacked a demon—the bloodlust is hitting him hard. And… no, Gray. He doesn’t remember anything.”
Tears blurred my vision. “Where is he?”
“Somewhere safe.”
“I need to see him, Ronan. You owe me that much.”
“Gray, Sebastian—”
“Sebastian can wait.”
“Try tellinghimthat.”
“He owns me for eternity. Another hour won’t make a difference.”
Ronan didn’t respond.
“What about Emilio?” I asked. “Is he still with his sister? Have they found Asher?”
“Sebastian hasn’t let me get in touch with him yet.” He shoved a hand through his hair, the sudden movement making the hounds jump. “All of this happened so fast… I barely had time to think from the moment those memory eaters attacked.”
“I need to see Darius. Please, Ronan. He needs to know he’s not alone in this.”
“It doesn’t matter, Gray. Don’t you see?” He turned away from me, his body stiffening again. “I wassummonedhere. This is it. Game over. Don’t even bother packing your shit, because everything you own belongs to him now.Youbelong to him now.”
“I know.”
When he turned to face me again, his eyes were rimmed in red, flooded with pain and regret.
My insides twisted into a pretzel. It was one thing to make the decision with Liam, floating on a hell boat with no other escape route in sight.
But this was really happening now. I was about to become Sebastian’s eternal slave.
“It’s time, Gray,” he whispered. He held my gaze for another heartbeat, letting me see the real Ronan one last time.
“I love you,” I whispered back.
A tear spilled down his cheek. Just one. In his eyes I saw the immensity of his love for me, his devotion.
Then he turned away, the hounds close at his heels, all of them expecting me to do the one thing I thought I never would.
Follow them back into hell.
Eleven
