“I didn’t mean to be so cold to you, Gray,” he said, the regret in his voice shocking in its pure nakedness. “So cruel. I am truly sorry.”
At this, I finally turned around. I tilted my head back to meet his eyes, finding a tenderness I hadn’t expected.
It wasn’t love or recognition, but it was closer.
My heart dipped into my stomach, my breath hitching in my throat, stealing away my words.
“Sometimes I look at you,” he said, his voice silky and low in the darkness, “and I’m overcome with a… a strange feeling. Like we’ve known each other far longer than you’ve let on.”
“Yes and no,” I said, finding my voice, however frail it felt. “With us, it’s kind of… complicated.”
“I’d like to hear more about it, if you’re comfortable sharing.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. There was a time when “comfortable sharing” meant something entirely different between us. Briefly I wondered how he’d feel if he could remember that night with Ronan, the love and passion and connection the three of us had shared with each other. It hadn’t happened that long ago; I’d been so certain the three of us were forever. That our night together was only the beginning of something much bigger, much deeper.
Yet somehow, they’d both slipped through my fingers.
“You’ve known Ronan and the others much longer,” I said. “You and I met several years ago, when I first came to the bay. You… you helped take care of me when I was in no position to take care of myself.”
Darius blew out a slow breath—an odd gesture for the vampire—and I felt the heat of it whispering over my lips. When he looked at me again, his gaze was heavy with sadness. “Several years of friendship, gone in a blink. How is that possible?”
“I wish I knew. Better yet, I wish I knew how to reverse it.”
So much had happened since I’d talked to Deirdre on the beach, I hadn’t had time to do any more research about blood magic. Part of me wanted to share my theory with Darius, but I wasn’t ready. I needed more information. More… everything. And right now, we had other priorities.
“When I look at you now,” he said, “I’m overwhelmed with…” He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. A scent. He reached out a tentative hand and cupped my chin, our skin barely making contact. Still, it was enough to set my heart on fire.
“I touch you,” he continued, “and it’s like I canfeeleverything we’ve lost. But I can’t see the details of it. I taste your scent in the air around me, and it stirs something deep inside me, but brings back no memories.” He opened his eyes, his honey-colored gaze intense and possessive and full of the same intense, desperate longing coursing through my veins. “I’mcertainyou’ve left footprints on my heart, Gray Desario, yet I can’t recall the sound of a single step, and it’s… it’s breaking me.”
His words mingled with the intensity in his eyes, the heat in his touch, the proximity of his body, the heartache in his voice, all of it wrapping me up in a spell I knew would soon shatter. But for the moment, I let myself take pleasure in it, indulging in the memories ofus, the movie reel of our first kiss, the way we’d touched each other in the car outside Luna’s, our shower at the safe house, the promises he’d made to take me to New York, the snow globe he’d brought back for me, our first time together in the Shadowrealm. Even the raw, lust-fueled night we’d shared in Elena’s basement played in my mind, making my heart race, my core ache, everything inside me desperate for his touch, even now.
Each memory cut deep, but the pain was necessary, and I welcomed it. It reminded me that it was real. That everything Darius and I shared had really happened.
I’d lost him. I’d lost Ronan. I’d lost Liam. Each in very different ways, but each resulting in the same broken heart. Still, I wouldn’t trade those moments and memories for anything, even if it meant a lifetime of suffering over this loss.
“Do you think it’s possible that we might… become friends?” he asked suddenly, pulling me back to the present. “Maybe not overnight, of course. But in time, we might get to know each other again. Perhaps even enjoy each other’s company.”
“You mean starting over?” I asked, looking up at him. “From scratch?”
“I no longer have the memories that made me the man you knew and cared for. But in many ways, I’m still that man. It stands to reason that if you and I were destined to become friends once, it could certainly happen again.”
“I think… I think I’d like that.” I smiled. No matter how much I’d lost, no matter how hard life kept trying to hammer home the lessons of a broken heart, that glimmer of hope inside me refused to die. And now, at Darius’s words, it surged brightly once again. It was only for an instant, but it was enough to buoy me for the battle ahead.
Because if Darius and I could become friends again, maybe we could fall in love again, too.
The comms device buzzed at my hip. It was time.
Thirty-Two
Gray
From the moment Jael gave the signal, we were in motion. Darius and I ducked behind a Dumpster in the alley, watching as Emilio’s team moved in on the front entrance, easily dispatching the lone fae and the hunter glued to his phone.
They were inside in under thirty seconds.
My heart was pounding in my ears, the dull thud threatening to drown out all else. I was relying on Darius’s superior vampire hearing to let us know what was going on inside, because from the outside, everything was still and silent.
“They’ve been spotted,” he said. “Ground floor. Fae guards are moving in.”
