“Does this mean…?” I held my breath, my heart hammering wildly.
Dare I hope?
He’d had flashes of memory before, but never enough to call it restored. This was the first time he’d remembered something so far back in his past—so many different details. Ithadto mean something.
“It means exactly what you think it means,” he said, still smiling.
Tears blurred my vision. “But… How? When?”
“Turning you, taking in so much of your blood… It unlocked something for me, Gray. You were right all along. The connection was there. Whether your blood held my memories and returned them to me, or simply unlocked them from some dormant place deep inside my own mind, it matters not.”
“How did it happen?”
“All I know for certain is that within moments of drinking from you, I was struck by a pain inside my skull so blinding, it drove me to my knees. It was like something literally cracked open, and everything just… It all came flooding back.”
“Just like that? In one big rush?”
“Everything was a bit topsy-turvy at first, but eventually the memories sorted themselves into the right order. I remembered everything I’d ever lived through, all the things I’d done, falling in love with you.” He cupped my face, tracing my jawline with his thumb. His eyes were filled with love for me, blazing bright, but soon the smile began to diminish, and the look in his eyes turned to regret. “I remembered becoming a vampire, all the choices I made since that day. The people I hurt along the way. I—”
“Don’t do that to yourself.” I shook my head, my eyes pleading with him to stop before he went any further down that dark path. “We’ve all done things we’re completely ashamed of. Things we’d die before eventhinkingabout doing now, consciously, in our so-called right minds.”
“Yes, but I’ve had much longer to do such things—and much longer to regret them. Lifetimes upon lifetimes of bad decisions and—”
“And lifetimes of good ones.” I wriggled my fingers until he grasped my hand, and I squeezed it tight, needing him to understand. “Do you remember what you said to me that night in the Shadowrealm, after I told you how sorry I was for what you’d gone through?”
He lowered his head, his hair falling into his eyes. “That all of it had brought me to you.”
“And you wouldn’t wish for another outcome.”
“That’s still true, love. Don’t ever think otherwise.” He brushed his knuckles along my cheek, smiling faintly, then frowning again. “I suppose I’d simply gotten used to carrying my regrets—after so many decades, they’d simply become background noise. But losing those memories, only to have them return full force… It’s as if I’d committed some of those most terrible mistakes only yesterday.”
“But you didn’t. You’re a different man now, Darius. And a hundred years from now, you’ll be a different man yet again.” I squeezed his hand again. “The difference is, now you’ll have an immortal witch-vamp by your side, keeping you out of trouble.”
This, finally, got a small laugh. “Causing it, more likely. Especially if you let me tie you up again.”
“Again? That implies you actually untied me, which you haven’t.” I squirmed again, but Darius only shook his head.
“Not a chance, little vampire. You’re just lucky I haven’t been able to figure out the camera on my phone.”
“Guess you’ll just have to hold on to this memory extra hard.”
“Oh, you can count on it.”
He leaned down and kissed me, tender and sweet.
“Thank you,” I whispered when he pulled back. “For that night in the cemetery. It’s the greatest gift you could ever give me.”
“Turning you into a bloodsucker?”
I shook my head. “Honoring my choice, and helping me see it through.”
Darius nodded, but suddenly, he seemed lost. Regret flooded his eyes. “Gray, I… I know how badly you wanted this. And logically, I understand your reasoning, just as I understood it the other night in the cemetery.”
“Then why do you look so conflicted?”
“I feel like a bit of a fraud.”
“How so?”
