Six
RONAN
The guys gave me a world of shit, but eventually, they took the hounds and cleared out, leaving me alone with Gray for the first time since she’d changed.
I couldn’t stop staring at her.
“I must be a total mess.” Gray lowered her eyes, her smile suddenly shy.
“A beautiful mess, though,” I said. So beautiful it broke my fucking heart. She was immortal now. In a matter of one short night, the number of things that could kill her had been slashed from infinite to two. Only two.
Incineration and beheading.
But that built-in safety feature had come at a cost, and she’d given up a part of herself to get it. And no matter what she believed—no matter what Jael had promised about her soul—I wasn’t convinced she’d ever get it back.
Still, she’d survived. That was the important part.
And her eyes glittered with new facets, the depths of which I’d only just begun to explore. Staring into her eyes, losing myself there, it was almost enough to make me forget about the fact that I still couldn’t touch her.
“You’ve got a little…” I swiped my thumb across my lower lip, indicating the blood smeared across hers. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to the sight of that, but as long as she was healthy, it didn’t matter.
She licked the blood clean, then offered another faint smile. “Sorry. I’m still a little—”
“I love you,” I said, my voice breaking on the words. I knelt at her bedside, leaning as close as I dared, wishing I could take her face into my hands. “I loved you as a witch, I love you as a vampire, and I’ll never fucking stop. I need you to know that. To truly know it. My heart has and will always be yours, even when I’m acting like a fucking asshole.”
She closed her eyes, a tear streaking down her cheek. “I do know it,” she whispered. “I always have.”
“All that shit I said to you back at Inferno, when you’d first returned from hell… I thought I was doing the right thing. I was so twisted up about Sebastian cashing in on your contract, so fucked up about not being allowed to touch you… I guess I just lost my shit. All I could picture was you locked up in one of his dungeons, and him sending me to retrieve you each time he had some bullshit job for you, and you just looking at me with this… this broken look in your eyes, wondering how the fuck the man you loved so much could ever do something so low.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to keep my own tears in check. It was a losing battle. “I thought it would be better if you just… If you forgot you’d ever loved me.”
“Yeah?” She opened her eyes and glared at me with new fire. “That makes you a fucking assholeanda fucking idiot, Ronan. I couldneverforget how I feel about you. All that stuff about letting me go, about things being over between us… Did you honestly think I’d believe you?”
I shook my head. “Deep down, I guess I knew you wouldn’t. Hell, Ihopedyou fucking wouldn’t. I was out of my mind, Gray, and I didn’t know how to handle it. So I fucked up, and I hurt you, and I’ve spent every night since then haunted by the look in your eyes and silently begging you for the forgiveness I know I don’t deserve.”
She lowered her eyes, and silence wrapped us up completely, save for the constant roar of the wind and the ocean. She didn’t move or speak for so long, I wondered if she’d drifted off to sleep. I was about to stand up and head out when she finally met my gaze again, pinning me in place.
“I forgave you the moment those stupid words fell out of your stupid mouth. I forgave you because I knew you didn’t mean them, and I knew you were only trying to protect me from some future heartbreak. I love you, Ronan, even if you never touch me again. Even if you’re marching down to my dungeon every single night for the rest of eternity to do Sebastian’s bidding. So the next time you get the bright idea to break up with me, go ahead and stick it right up your ass, because I’m not going anywhere.”
Her eyes were full-on blazing now, swirling with a mix of anger and love and desire and yes, forgiveness too.
My heart damn near pounded out of my chest, and I had to shove my hands into my pockets to keep from reaching out to her. Touching her. Making up for all my shit with one devouring kiss at a time.
“You’re my best friend, Desario,” I whispered. “And the love of my life. I will never break your trust again. So you want to know what I’m grateful for? What’s my one piece of good news in all of this?” I shrugged. “It’s the simple fact that you haven’t given up on me. On us.”
“I never will.”
I blew out a breath, the weight of my guilt lessoning a fraction. Her faith in me, however undeserved it may have been, was a precious gift. One I wouldn’t risk losing again.
“Your soul is under the protection of the Seelie Queen,” I said, shifting gears. This was a conversation we couldn’t avoid, no matter how much I wished we could sweep it all under the rug. “It’s likely your situation with Sebastian has changed.”
“You think we finally found that loophole?” she asked.
“I don’t know. He’s got no jurisdiction in the fae realm, and I doubt the Queen would make a deal with the prince of hell. But depending on the exact language in your contract, he could see this as deception on your part.”
“Who cares what he thinks? If he can’t get his hands on my soul, he has no claim over me.”
“I’m not sure he’ll see it that way, Gray. Sebastian is nothing if not resourceful. Once he finds out that you’re a bloodsucker, he’s probably gonna come at you. I just think we need to be prepared for it.”
She nodded, the space between her eyebrows creasing with new worries.
