None of this was Darius’s fault—he was just doing what he had to do to keep everyone safe, including me. This was my choice, and I had to live with it. Besides, for the power and immortality of a vampire, hunger pangs and a few bouts of the shakes were a small price to pay.
I just hoped the transition period wouldn’t last too long. Every hour I wasted in bed was another hour we were leaving Blackmoon Bay in the hands of Orendiel and the hunters.
And in the hands of my mother, a vampire-witch we now knew was the deadly, vulgar head of the world’s most poisonous snake.
“My mother killed to feed herself,” I said absently, my thoughts drifting back to the darkness of the crypt, the evidence we uncovered there.
“You will not be reduced to such savagery. Elena has reached out to her connection at the local hospital to procure what we need, and at present, our demons and the wolf are braving the weather to retrieve it. You’ll have a fresh, humanely-harvested supply very soon.”
“What about after? What happens when that runs out?”
“Then we’ll find more.”
“Darius, you need to eat, too. As will the vampires we rescued, including Fiona. We can’t just drain the city’s donor supply.”
“No, I suppose we can’t.”
“And until we can figure out how to deal with this winter apocalypse,” I said, glancing out the window as a fresh bout of wet snow slapped against the pane, “I’m pretty sure imported goods are in short supply.”
“All true,” he said, though he seemed completely unconcerned about our predicament.
“At some point, we’ll need to—”
“At some point, at one point, another day, tomorrow, next week, next year, next century… All pointless frames of reference for us now.”
“How do you figure?”
“Gray, you’re an immortal. If you start worrying about everything that can go wrong, everything that can throw a wrench into your day…. Well, there are a hell of a lot more days to worry about now.”
I closed my eyes as the brutal wind whipped another wave of slush against the lodge. Darius was right. I had to take things day by day or I’d drive us all mad.
“All things considered,” he said, forcing a note of cheer into his voice, “you’re handling this extremely well. Much better than most.”
I nodded, forcing the desperate gnawing inside me to settle. I knew from the stories I’d heard—not to mention the things Darius had shared about his own turning—that things could’ve beensomuch worse for me.
“I guess that means I didn’t slaughter anyone in the night, right?” I asked, only half-kidding.
“Well, let’s see…” He tapped his lips, his tone light and teasing. “As of our last accounting, the casualties stood at four shredded bath towels, one shattered windowpane, an upended china cabinet full of porcelain shards formerly known as priceless antiques, two splintered dining chairs, and a fruitcake Verona was particularly proud of, but the rest of us secretly cheered forthatloss. Oh, you also punched Asher in the mouth.”
“Holy shit, Darius! Are you serious?”
Darius shrugged as if this was all par for the course. “To be fair, he had it coming. Your incubus gets rather mouthy when—”
“But how did I manage to do so much damage? I don’t even remember coming home. I don’t remember anything after the bite. And I’m tied up, besides!”
“Initially, we thought we could forgo the restraints, relying only on the hawthorn. But you’re too strong, Gray. The few times you surfaced into consciousness were brief, but wild. You needed to feed, but my blood left you… Well, it left you a bit mad, to be honest. Asher insisted on trying to reason with you, convinced he could sweet-talk his way past thousands of years of predatory evolution.” Darius shook his head, holding back a laugh. “The moment he unfastened one of your restraints, you clocked him.”
Now I was laughing, too. The whole scene sounded pretty ridiculous—and one hundred percent Asher. “What did he do then?”
“Complimented your right hook, cursed up a storm, then retreated to a dark corner of the lodge with a bottle of tequila and a bag of frozen peas while I secured your restraints and got you calmed down. He hasn’t gotten close since.”
“I suppose I’ll have to make it up to him at some point.”
“I suppose.” Darius nuzzled the skin behind my ear with a string of kisses I felt all the way to my toes. “But it seems you’re through the worst of it, anyway.”
“I hope so.”
Most newborn vampires went absolutely wild with bloodlust. Without a present sire to tame them, to guide them through the early part of the change, to feed them and help them see the difference between instinct and choice…
