A deal is a deal.
If her parents weren’t so powerful—and mine weren’t so deplorable…
Wishes and dreams. Ashes and dust.
But we can’t choose the families we’re born into any more than we can choose our magickal affinities. Sometimes you hit the lotto. Other times you hit rock bottom.
Your only choice is to figure out what to do from there. Both can be opportunities, both can be death sentences.
Right now, I’m still trying to decide where I fall.
“Well, have fun at karaoke,” I tell her, holding her gaze for just a little too long. “Maybe we’ll see you there later.”
She’s holding my gaze, too. And when Carly turns around, I stay focused on Stevie, just one more second.
“I kind of hate you sometimes,” she whispers.
“I know.” I offer a sad smile. “I kind of hate me too.”
Forty-Five
ANSEL
“So you hate Baz, but you also kind of like him? And you like Kirin, but he’s driving you crazy?”
“Exactly.” Stevie passes me the carton of veggie lo mein. “See, this is why you’re so perfect, Ani.Youget it. You don’t try to overcomplicate things, don’t make excuses, don’t think with your dick.”
“No, my dick has much better things to do.”
We’ve just hiked to the top of the Cauldron of Flame and Fury for a Saturday picnic, and now we’re sitting on a blanket on the rim with a breathtaking view of the canyon below, the pool of red water at the bottom sparkling in the sunlight. Everything about the day is pretty much bang-on perfect—I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than run around outside with a cute girl who laughs at my corny jokes and kicks my ass all the way up the trail.
Except for maybe run around outside with a cute girl whoisn’tobsessing over my best friends.
Not that I blame her. Kirin and Baz… hell, if I swung that way, they’d be tops on my list too.
But right now, I kind of want to toss both their asses into this canyon for the mind games they’re playing with Stevie.
And I hate violence of any sort, so that’s definitely saying something.
“Sorry I was such a downer at karaoke last night,” she says, probably for the fifth time today. “I really did want to sing ‘I Will Survive’ with you, I just didn’t want that jerkface to think I was singing about him.”
“I told you, stop worrying about it. One day, when you least expect it, I’ll spring a new song on you, and you won’t be able to say no. I’m thinking… rap.”
“I won’t let you down. Make your ears bleed, maybe, but I won’t bail out on you.”
I open up the beef and broccoli, let her have the first few bites.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she says. “Okay, I have this personal rule. I don’t get romantically involved with anyone I really like.”
“Um. Okay, that makes basicallynosense, but hey—you do you, boo.”
“I’m just risk-averse with stuff like that—relationships or whatever. Which makes Baz the perfect candidate, because there’s no way I could possibly like him, unlike Kirin, who I can’t seem to stop liking, no matter how hard I try. But with Baz, I knew that right from the first time I met him. I thought, hey, here’s a guy youdefinitelydon’t want to get involved with. Except now I think I kind of do. And also, still with the Kirin obsessing…” She lies back on the blanket and covers her face with her hands. “What iswrongwith me?”
“Wait. Slow down.” My head is spinning, and it’s not from the exertion of the hike or the overdose on Chinese food. “First of all, perfect candidate for what? You just said you don’t do involvements.”
“For… you know. Non-involvements.”
“Friends with benefits,” I clarify. “Fuck buddies, booty calls, midnight marauders.”
