I blow out a breath. It’s more than anyone else has ever told me, but still not anywhere close to enough. Not anywhere close to the full truth.
“I understand why Trello wants me here,” I say. “Witches being targeted like this, the attacks still happening—it affects us all, and my mother knew it would. But I can’t help but sense there’s a lot more to the story about my parents than anyone is telling me. Professor Phaines seems kind of above the gossip, but Trello's definitely keeping secrets—you should’ve seen her clam up when I met her the other day. She tried to act sympathetic, but it was so obvious she’s just protecting herself. Dr. Devane is… well, I’m still trying to figure him out. And you’re…”
I trail off, not sure where to go from here.
“I’m what, Stevie?”
“I don’t know,” I say softly, lowering my eyes. Honestly. “That’s just it. For all the time we saw each other at Kettle Black this summer, I really know nothing about you, Kirin Weber.”
“Not true,” he says. “I was there every day for nearly three months. That has to count for something.”
“But it was just a couple of hours a day. And I spent maybe fifteen total minutes at your table—if that. Add all that up, we’ve probably spent less than a day or two together.”
He glances at the ceiling, literally doing the math in his head.
Goddess, he’s such a nerdy genius.
“Okay, fair point,” he says, then reaches across the table and takes my hand. It’s a friendly gesture more than a romantic one, but a spark races up my arm just the same. “But now we have the opportunity to change that, Stevie.”
I want to believe him. So, so badly. And he’s right, we do have the opportunity. I’ll be sitting here in this lab with him for hours, multiple times a week, probably on the weekends too. And that’s not counting going out for coffee—didn’t he say the invitation still stands?
I almost smile, but force myself to hold back.
It sounds lovely, but spending time with someone doesn’t mean getting to know him if all you’re getting to know are more lies and omissions.
I wish I could convince myself otherwise, to tell him what I know he wants to hear. But I can’t find any words to fill the awkward spaces creeping in between us, and eventually, he seems to run out of them too.
So when he rises to put Mom’s research back in the cabinet and lock up his laptop, I lock up my notes, gather the rest of my stuff, and slip out of there before he even knows I’m gone.
Before he sees the tears spilling down my cheeks.
Thirty-Three
STEVIE
“A witch’s mind is her sharpest tool, but a Tarot deck is her closest companion. Her confidante, her trusted advisor.” Standing at the front of our Tarot Divination and Spellwork lab, Professor Nakata beams at us, her brown eyes sparkling. “A Tarot deck is, for all intents and purposes, your squad.”
There are only fifteen of us in the lab, our desks set up in a U-formation, and we all laugh. It’s hard not to; Professor Nakata looks about Dr. Devane’s age, but where he’s cranky and controlling, she’s got a bouncy, youthful energy that immediately makes me feel light and happy.
It’s almost enough to make me forget those infuriating mages.
I sayalmost, because one of them is in my lab.
As if he can sense me thinking about him, Baz looks at me across the U and smiles.
It’s so hard to reconcile that devastating smile and the tenderness he showed me last night with the men I saw in the cave, slicing their hands, chanting about brotherhood and service and the one true source and that book—that black, evil, soul-sucking book…
“The stronger and more intimate your bond with your Tarot cards,” Professor Nakata continues, shuffling her own deck as she does, “the more you’ll come to rely on them in your magickal practice. Practically speaking, the Tarot can be used for all manner of spellwork and divination.”
She draws a card from her deck, holding it out for us to see.
“The Moon,” she says. “Often associated with the realm of dreams and fantasies. Tuck this card under your pillow at night to inspire lucid dreaming and clear dream interpretation.”
She shuffles it back into the deck, then selects another one. This time, it’s a minor arcana from the suit of Pentacles—the Page, as it’s called in her deck. The Princess, as I saw in my vision.
“Cards can be used for manifesting certain outcomes,” Professor Nakata says, “or charging up food and drinks with specific magickal intentions. For example, if you need help passing your classes, you might slip the Page of Pentacles under your morning coffee for a few minutes—this card has excellent energy for learning new material.”
I make a mental note of that, wondering if there’s a specific card to help me pass Devane’s class. His is probably the one I’m most in danger of failing.
