“My phone was destroyed,” I explain. “I just got my new one this morning. Still catching up on messages.” Mostly from the guys, who are still learning how to walk that oh-so-fine line between protective and pestering.
I don’t mind, though. I was glad for the space this weekend—totally needed a breather after all their brooding, macho intensity—but by Sunday afternoon, I actually started to miss the fuckers. Seeing Baz this morning set me to rights in a way that copious amounts of tea consumption couldn’t—and for me, that’s saying something.
“You haven’t been answering your door either,” Nat adds. “Or your emails or student directory messages. If we had carrier pigeons, we might’ve tried them, too.”
They both stare at me, incredulous.
Shit. I suck.
“I’m sorry, guys. I should’ve sent a message. I didn’t realize the rumors would spread so fast, and I’m not used to having so many people worry about me.” Just Jessa, and she’s so busy with the move to Mexico, I didn’t want to drop this latest disaster on her. Besides, it’s not like I was totally alone. I had the guys waiting on me hand and foot, never letting me out of their sight. Not until I kicked them out. And even now, I’m notentirelyout of sight—not with the phone-slash-tracking device.
A necessary evil. For now.
Yeah, I can complain about it all I want, but until Phaines is caught and we figure out the rest of this mess, I like knowing four powerful mages have always got my back. Besides, trust goes both ways. If I’m insisting they keep me in the loop, I’ve got to do to the same for them.
“Wewereworried,” Nat says, her multi-colored hair fluttering in the breeze. The sight of her silver tresses takes me back into my nightmare, the battle on campus, the arrow in her back, and I swallow down a lump of emotion, feeling even more terrible for leaving them in the dark all weekend.
“The rumors kept getting worse every time we heard them,” Isla says. “First you got kidnapped, then beat up, then the whole murder thing… Was it really Professor Phaines?”
I nod and cover my stomach, the memory of his twisting knife still fresh. “Apparently he wanted my blood for some kind of ritual.”
I give them a rundown of the events, leaving out the part about the prophecies and the Dark Arcana—all things the guys and Imustkeep secret, even in a place that thrives on rumors.
It’s our only shot at keeping everyone safe.
“Goddess, Stevie,” Nat says when I finish the sordid tale. “Are you okay? I swear if you’re not, I’m going to kill you right now.”
I smile at the familiar threat—one Jessa has uttered many times.
“The first night was a little rough,” I admit. “But I’m feeling better now. The cuts have mostly healed, and I’m working on not freaking out at every little shadow.”
The nightmares aren’t my favorite, either, but Nat and Isla are worried enough as it is. No need to add to it. Besides, the person I really need to speak to about the dream stuff is Doc, and I haven’t caught sight of him yet this morning.
“You should’ve called,” Isla says, hurt lingering in her voice. “We would’ve come right over with soup and wine and movies and fuzzy socks.”
“I know. And I love you guys for that. But I think I just needed some time alone to process everything. I was pretty overwhelmed. Still am, in a lot of ways.”
The guys stayed with me the first couple of nights after the attack, cooking and taking care of me, much like the girls would’ve done. It was a kindness I appreciated—one I needed, even.
But by Friday night, I started to feel the walls closing in—and not just because of the attack.
Joining the Brotherhood felt like fate, a hidden purpose that had been waiting to be discovered since the moment I was born. I never felt as connected to anything—toanyone—as I did the moment I signed the Book of Reckoning. It bound me to the mages in ways I can’t even describe—a bond we’ll carry for eternity.
Yeah, it’s kind of a big fucking deal.
But despite the close connection and the sense of belonging I felt, once the newness started to wear off, a different feeling settled in my stomach, heavy as a stone.
And it’s not entirely gone yet, either.
The guys kept secrets from me. Secrets I had a right to know about myself, about the real reasons the prophecies are so important. They misled me, and in some cases, outright lied.
The sting of that betrayal was and is still fresh.
But, unlike our bond, the sting won’t last forever. They’re doing the best they can with the information they have, just like any of us is. They wanted to protect me. They thought they’d have more time to bring me into their world. Obviously, the Universe had other plans.
I can’t fault them for that.
And like I said, after too many days apart, I kinda miss the fuckers.
