“I’ve already apologized, Stevie. And I meant it. But tracking device or not, I’d be lying if I said I’m not terrified at the thought of you getting hurt again. You’re a target—we’ve known that from the start. And frankly, we’d all prefer it if you’d—”
“You’d all prefer it?” I ask. Wow, not even four days after they promised to ditch the secrets, they’re back to making decisions about me behind my back. “Yes, I’m sure you’d all prefer it if I’d stayed locked in my room for the rest of the semester, but I can tell you right now, that’s not happening. So if you insist on following me, get yourself a good pair of running shoes, because I’m half your age and I’m going to give you the workout of a lifetime.”
I storm across the room to the windows behind the last row of desks and peer down at the campus. From this second-floor vantage point, I can see the edge of the Tarot fountain, the water glittering in the morning sun. I press my finger to the windowpane, tracing the outline of one of the many red stone paths that wind past it.
Arcana Academy is so beautiful and serene, so magickal, it’s hard to believe this is the same place where my parents lost faith in their own. Where dark mages twist that beautiful, life-affirming power into a weapon to torture and maim students. Where secrets hang in the air like black clouds waiting to burst.
I sense Doc behind me, but I don’t turn around. Not even when he places his strong hands on my shoulders, nearly overwhelming me with his presence.
“We swore an oath, Stevie,” he says softly, his warm breath stirring my hair. “To protect you. To protect each other. That’s what Brothers do.”
“I’m not upset that you’re protecting me. I’m upset you think you have to sneak around to do it. You could’ve just texted to meet up this morning. We could’ve gone on the run together—safety in numbers. You’re not twenty, Doc. What if you’d had a heart attack out there? Thenyou’dbe the one in need of a rescue.”
Ignoring the dig about his age, he says, “You wanted space.”
“Yes, I wanted space. Actual space. Not the illusion of it.” I fold my arms over my chest, still staring out the window even as Doc’s warm touch seeps through my jacket. Three witches sit on the edge of the fountain, their heads bent together, one of them laughing at something another just said. I wonder if they have any idea how much danger we’re in. For all of Trello’s dire warnings and abundance-of-caution speeches, she didn’t even scratch the surface.
I wonder if Trello herself even knows what we’re truly up against.
Judging from the level of secrecy around here, I’m guessing no.
“I thought we all agreed to open communication,” I continue. “Now I learn you guys are declaring what’s best for me as if I’m not even part of the equation.”
“That’s not—”
“You say I’m one of you. A member of the Brotherhood, a seer, a powerful Arcana witch. Yet—”
“You are all of those things and more.” He releases my shoulders and steps in front of me, forcing me to meet his gaze. “So much more. But a lot of that ‘more’ is still locked up inside you—untapped potential. You’re still green when it comes to magick, when it comes to comprehending the full scale of what we’re facing here. As a more experienced mage and professor—as the present leader of the Brotherhood—I’m not going to stand by and watch—”
“You’re right. Iamgreen—probably the greenest witch on campus right now, thanks to my magick-free childhood. I fully admit I need more knowledge and practice—I still can’t even make a feather levitate consistently. But there’s a big difference between a witch in need of guidance and a child in need of supervision, and right now, you’re all treating me like the latter.”
“That’s not our intent. It’s just…” Doc scrubs a hand over his face and sighs, his energy leaking out around the edges again, so subtle he probably doesn’t even realize it. He’s trying to hold onto anger, but it’s quickly giving way to fear, to his concern for me, to his struggle to do what’s right.
And there, flooding into the spaces between all of those emotions, is a deep, dark regret.
The sharp edges of my frustration soften a bit. “It’s justwhat, Doc? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Stevie,” he whispers, reaching up to cup my face in his hands. He peers down at me, his eyes as gray and stormy as the sea.
My nerves jolt at the contact, and for the briefest instant, I catch the scent of the ocean, hear the hush of the waves against the shore.
Then it’s gone.
“I want… Ineedto protect you,” he says. “Don’t ask me to explain it, because I can’t. It goes beyond the Brotherhood bond, beyond our age difference, beyond the fact that I’m your professor, beyond anything I’ve ever felt, even when…” Trailing off, he shakes his head, his thumbs tracing across my cheekbones. “That need… It overwhelms me at times, blinding me to all else, including the fact that I’m probably smothering you. I’m working on it. But it’s hard to override that instinct—especially when it comes to you.”
“Instinct?”
“Since the very first. Seeing you in the prison, it was…” His gaze burns with new fire. My heart is racing now, my skin tingling at his touch, but I don’t dare pull away. “I’d hoped against the odds that we’d gotten you through the worst of it. That bringing you here reallywasthe better option. But now I’m not—”
“Stop.” I finally step back and take a deep breath, refocusing. “It was my choice to come here.”
“Yes, and when you made your choice, I made a promise. I said I’d do everything in my power to keep you safe, to protect you. Since your arrival, you’ve been attacked multiple times—by students, by an esteemed professor we all trusted, by a rattlesnake, by visions… I’ve failed you at every turn.”
“You also warned me that I’d be in grave danger from the start, that you had no idea who the enemy was, and that it’d be near impossible to protect me. You promised me a shit storm, and you delivered in spades. That’s not failure, Doc. That’s truth in advertising.”
Guilt ripples through his energy.
“Not an accusation,” I clarify. “Just a reminder that I knew the risks and I signed up anyway. Just like I signed up with the Brotherhood. I’m in this with you guys, and I’m not backing down.”
