Fucking Eastman.I really hoped I’d seen the last of him years ago, but it seems our paths are meant to cross again.
“So you’re his little protege now? How’s that working out?” I cringe at my own lack of subtlety. But she can’t be surprised. Subtlety was never my strong suit.
“William Eastman is a good man, Kirin. Dedicated. Smart.”
“Total prick,” I grumble.
Casey goes silent, and when I finally look up to meet her eyes again, I find nothing but a sad girl in front of me, full of shame and regret.
“You didn’t have to leave,” she says softly. “You would’ve made an excellent field agent.”
The reminder of my long-lost dream feels like a dagger in my chest. “Eastman didn’t think so.”
“We could’ve reasoned with him. Given everyone time to—”
“To what, Case? Forget what they saw? Forget the monster in their midst?” I shake my head, shame burning its way up my throat. Yes, Eastman is a world-class asshole. But no matter how much I try to hate the man, Casey’s right—heisgood at his job. He wasn’t wrong to ban me from APOA all those years ago.
“Not to forget,” Casey says. “To understand. You could’ve given everyone more time. Kirin, your gifts are intense and mysterious, but they’re also—”
“Not meant for public consumption.”
“You didn’t even try. Didn’t give anyone a chance to fight for you. To help you.” Tears glitter in her eyes, and when she speaks again, her voice breaks. “Mom and Dad never blamed you. They just wanted a chance to fix it.”
She’s right, they didn’t blame me—not out loud, anyway. They didn’t scold or mistreat me. Didn’t threaten me or try to beat it out of me.
But sometimes the weight of disappointment in the eyes of those you love hurts as much as a punch in the face, and the only remedy for the pain is to remove yourself from the situation altogether.
I turn my back, focusing on the books on the shelf behind me, organized by subject first, author name second, size third.Thisis the world that makes sense to me. The world on the other side of this desk—my sister, my past, my regrets—that’s a world I won’t go back to.
“I needed to start over,” I say calmly. “I’m sorry that I hurt you, but I had to do this for myself. It was and continues to be my choice. I’m asking you to respect it.”
“You didn’t even say goodbye. You have noideawhat that did to Mom and Dad. What it still does to them.”
The dagger in my chest lodges in deeper, piercing something vital inside.
My vision blackens at the edges, my insides frothing like a shook-up bottle of champaign.
“It was selfish,” she snaps, popping the cork.
And I explode.
I whirl around to face her just as the overhead light sizzles and bursts, raining glass down on my desk. Casey backs up against the wall and covers her head as books leap from the shelves and papers whip around the office in a frenzied storm. One of my monitors tips over, and the stained-glass window at the top of the door cracks.
The whole thing lasts no more than twenty seconds, but by the time I get it under control and the chaos fades, both of us are trembling.
Her with fear.
Me with rage. It’s so complete, so all-encompassing, I’m pretty sure my heart is going to implode.
“Still think you can make everyone understand?” In one swift move, I sweep the monitors from my desk, sending them crashing to the floor. “Still think your baby brother isn’t a monster?”
For once, my sister is silent. Ignoring my questions, she lowers her eyes and picks her way through the wreckage, opening the door and exiting wordlessly from my life, just like I exited from hers.
The difference is… Casey’s not going to stay gone. Nor is Eastman or the APOA or any of the other shit I’ve spent the last decade trying to outrun.
It’s all here, converging on me smack in the middle of Arcana Academy.
And I’m running out of places to hide.
