“What’s in it?”
“Don’t know, don’t care. As long as it doesn’t take me back to the realm.”
“Are you going to try it tonight?” he asks.
I close the bottle and set both of the potions on top of my nightstand.
“I’m not ready for a deep sleep just yet.” I snuggle closer, resting my cheek on his bare chest, my fingers drawing slow circles over his stomach.
Kirin’s breath hitches, his eyes lazily drifting closed.
“I was kind of hoping we could do… something else?” I offer.
“Well, sometimes when I can’t sleep, I like to review the elemental, herbal, and planetary correspondences in my head. If that doesn’t work, I might do a little light reading on the parallels between quantum physics and magick, or on academic applications for mental spellwork.”
I bite back a laugh, tracing my fingers up his chest. “That all soundssuperawesome, Genius Boy. Really great tips for all the special nerds in your life. But that’s not exactly the something else I had in mind.”
I don’t bother waiting for the gears in Kirin’s mind to translate my innuendos. Instead, I lean over and remove his glasses, then claim his mouth in a soft, seductive kiss.
He moans against my lips, opening his mouth to deepen our kiss, his hands sliding into my hair.
But the longer he kisses me, the hungrier I am for more. Not just kissing. Not just touching.
All of it.
I break our kiss and sit up to pull off my T-shirt, my body bare except for a pair of black lace underwear. Kirin’s gaze turns eager, slowly drinking me in as his hands slide up to cup my breasts. His thumbs brush over my stiff peaks, and I gasp, arching into his touch, my body already winding tight with anticipation.
He lowers his mouth to my nipple, teasing it with his tongue before sucking it between his lips, his own moan of pleasure vibrating against my skin. Goddess, his touch, his hot mouth, everything about him is making me wet.
I slide my hands into his hair and tug, slowly urging him back to my mouth. He kisses my lips, my jaw, my throat, blazing a trail of heat and seduction straight back to my lips…
And then the bed starts rumbling, the framed Aces above our heads rattling against the wall, and Kirin pulls back.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, my skin already missing the feel of his lips. “Come back.”
He kisses me again, but quickly breaks it off.
“Stevie, wait. I… I need to say something.” His green eyes are glazed with desire, his breath coming out in ragged bursts, but his energy is suddenly anxious. Afraid.
I take a deep breath and dial down my cracked-out libido, reaching out for his hand and offering an encouraging squeeze. “You can tell me anything, Kirin. You know that.”
Kirin squeezes me back, his body instantly relaxing. “Everything you said to me in the realm… Everything you’ve been saying since we first started hanging out… Yougetme, Stevie. You always have. More than anyone else in my life, you have the uncanny ability to see past the fear, past the bullshit, past the stories, straight into my heart. Despite seeing all my flaws, all my damage, you’ve never freaked out or bailed on me. I hurt you, and you gave me another chance. I told you the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life—about all the people I hurt, the people I turned my back on—and still, you stuck by me.” He trails his fingers down across my shoulder, making me shiver. “I can’t tell you what that means to me.”
I look into his eyes, his gaze vulnerable, his energy now pulsing with raw emotion, and smile. I feel his immense gratitude. His love. Even without purposefully reaching for the connection, I feel how much he truly cares about me.
But he’s worried too, the anxiety still coursing through him.
“I want to be with you tonight,” he continues, his voice a little shaky. “More than anything. But I can’t ignore the potential for damage. The Tower energy… you know there are consequences, whether we want them to exist or not.”
“Kirin, it’s okay. We’ll—”
“No, it isn’t.I’mnot okay—not with putting you at risk. It doesn’t matter if the events of ten years ago weren’t my fault or my intention—they still happened because of me. Because of an energy I can’t always direct or control. I hurt people, Stevie. And no matter how much I care about you, I can’t promise I won’t hurt you the same way.”
I nod, my heart breaking for him all over again. Even after what we went through in the realm, he’s still carrying so much weight. So much blame.
“You’re right, Kirin. When you told me about your past, I didn’t turn my back on you. So why would I turn my back on you now? Whatever happens, tonight oranynight, we can work through it together. I know you’re scared of hurting me, but—”
“Not scared, Stevie.” His grip on my shoulder tightens, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Fucking terrified.”
