Use your imagination.
I’m sitting at home doing just that. Where are you?
On a date. Go away.
You’re on a date, but you’re texting me?
YOU’RE texting ME.
And yet…
Charley bit back a smile.You’re impossible!
I must’ve made quite a second impression if you’re still ignoring your date for me.
I’m not ignoring her! But for the record, my sister would think you’re a total creep.
What kind of creep buys a girl a jumbo hot dog on their first date?
Hot dogs are the creepy man’s trademark. And that wasn’t our first date. More like #4.
I see you’ve given our relationship a lot of thought.
You’re the one who called me your wife.
Married within an hour of meeting. Yet, sadly, a relationship unconsummated.
Charley could practically hear the teasing sigh in his voice.
Pro tip, hot stuff,she replied. If you want your wife to put out, take her to a hotel. Or on a cruise. I hear the ladies love that shit.
You’re dreadful!
Sooo not what you said last night.
You’re lucky I couldn’t find any closets in the museum. Today might’ve turned out differently for both of us.
The idea made her stomach flip. Charley couldn’t decide whether she was relieved about the lack of closets or disappointed.
Pretty cocky for a man sitting home alone while his wife’s out on a date,she replied.
At least tell me what you’re wearing.
You already know. You saw me earlier, remember?
How could I forget? Seeing your ass in those tight jeans distracted me so much I missed my 2:30 meeting. So tell me again.
Charley sent him the shrugging emoji.
Well,he replied. You’re not very fun.
Really? Even though I’m not wearing underwear?I bet the rest of the guys here think a girl who goes commando to a movie in a public park is LOTS of fun. Maybe I should take a poll?
Just so we’re clear, I’ll kill the first man who answers that question. Wait… does this mean you weren’t wearing panties at the museum?
BRB—just got to my favorite part in the movie.
Which movie?
