“I want to become a vampire,” Charley finally admitted. “I want you to turn me.”
He stared at her, unblinking, the intensity in his eyes boring deep into her soul. He was silent and motionless for so long her knees started to ache, but Charley didn’t dare move.
In all their late-night conversations, the whispers in the dark, the declarations and promises, this was the one thing they’d managed to avoid talking about. The one thing that probably mattered more than anything else.
It carried the risk of death and the promise of eternity in equal measure, and it was terrifying and life-altering, miraculous and impossible.
The night Silas assaulted her, Charley had said she was afraid to let the vampires heal her with their blood—afraid it might turn her. But deep down, she wasn’t afraid of turning.
She was afraid Dorian wouldn’twanther to turn. That he’d see her as this eternal burden—an immortal commitment he’d never signed up for.
But she knew—herheartknew—that wasn’t the case. Whatever the reasons for his silence now, it wasn’t because he didn’t love her.
For however bloody long eternity lasts…
When Dorian finally spoke again, his voice was low and dark. “There’s a human saying,” he said. “Something about how it’s only in the worst hours of our lives that we discover who we truly are.”
“I’m familiar with it.”
“It’s bullshit, Charlotte. The worst hours utterlyshatterwho we truly are. Then we spend the whole of our existence trying to crawl back to some semblance of our true selves. Putting the pieces back together?That’swhat shows us who we really are—the rebuilding of a life from its smoldering ruins. So what you need to ask yourself is this: You’re on your hands and knees, love. Now how much fire and broken glass are youreallywilling to crawl through to get back?”
“As much as I have to, Dorian. Because thisisthe worst hour of my life. My sister’s been kidnapped by the man who murdered my father, my soul’s been claimed by a demon, and the man I love—thevampireI love—is facing threats from supernaturals I didn’t even knowexisteda month ago, including one of his own brothers.” Charley released Dorian’s hands and cupped his face. “I am inlovewith you, Dorian. I’ll stand by your side through anything, no matter what I have to crawl through to get there. After everything we’ve been through, how could you even doubt it?”
“I don’t doubt your heart. I just don’t think you realize what you’re asking.” He pulled away from her touch and rose from the bed, crossing the room to the windows.
She stood, watching him in silence as he stared out across the lands of Ravenswood.
“I think having a choice is better,” she said.
“I know you do, but—”
“No, Dorian. Those wereyourwords. When you told me about what happened with Adelle, you said you’d wanted to give her the choice about whether to turn. You wanted to honor her wishes.”
His shoulders tightened, and he let out a deep sigh. “That was different.”
“Why? Because I don’t deserve the same choice? Because I’m—”
“Because what I felt for her doesn’t even comecloseto what I feel for you.” He finally turned to face her again, his eyes blazing. “Loving you… Itconsumesme. I can’t lose you. I can’t watch you go through the change, knowing there’s even achanceyou won’t come out on the other side.”
“Then I guess that makes you a fucking hypocrite, doesn’t it.” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, heat rising inside her like a teakettle about to blow.
“I beg your pardon, but—”
“You don’t get to tell me you’re ready to sign away your soul and follow me into the depths of hell over some alleged demon contract, but then turn around and say I can’t follow you onthispath—a path I’m actually choosing.”
The fire in his eyes dimmed, but only a fraction. “You’re looking for a way to beat your uncle, and I understand that. Being a vampire would give you the advantage. But—”
“This isn’t about Rudy! Don’t you get it? I’ve spent my entire life playing by other people’s fucked-up rules. You made me realize it’s okay to want things for myself. And what I want—not because of my uncle, not because of some demon lord—is to be with you. Not as a weak, terrified human who’ll one day die and leave you behind, but as avampire.”
“Charlotte, you can’t just—”
“You said signing your soul away to follow me to hell would be your very last act on this earth. Well, maybe becoming a vampire ismyvery last act.”
“Wonderful. And if the demon comes to claim your soul next week?”
“Then I would’ve gotten a whole week to live under my own rules. To be somethingIwanted to be. To claim something all for myself.”
All the fire returned to his eyes, and he shoved a hand through his hair, pacing the room like a caged beast. “Have you given this more than amoment’sthought? Do you have any idea—anybloodyidea—what your life would be like as a vampire? You can never have children, or—”
