“Do you think I don’t know it, mate?” Dorian asked. “Of all my so-calledbrothers, you’re the only one in the whole bloody lot who seems to understand the meaning of the word.”
“But,” Aiden pressed, “I’mnotthe one who brought you back that night.”
“What are you saying?”
“You told Charlotte I tracked you down and brought you back, but it wasn’t me.” He glanced up at Dorian, his eyes full of utter anguish. “Devil knows, I tried. But in the end, it was Gabriel who found you. Gabriel who walked the streets day and night, forgetting to feed, forgetting to sleep, forgetting all else but his eldest brother. Gabriel who dragged you out of the very fires of hell and brought you home to Ravenswood.”
“Gabriel? But… No. I rememberyoubeing here, Aiden. You never left my side.”
“Yes, I was here. I was here the night Gabriel brought you home. Here through the nights of your withdrawals, when you begged me to tear out your heart and end your suffering. And I was here when you awoke from one of your nightmares and nearly killed your brother, simply for adjusting the pillow beneath your head.”
“I…what?”
“By the grace of something I’ve never been able to name,” Aiden said darkly, “I stopped you from beheading him. You can’t see the scars, Dori, but he certainly carries them. I suspect he always will.”
A chill seeped into the room, the wind screaming against the glass, the flames flickering in the fireplace. Dorian’s very bones ached with it, his heart heavy as the darkest memories clawed their way into the light.
Gabriel, tending him at his bedside, night after night with Aiden.
And Dorian, out of his mind with bloodlust and a rage he just couldn’t quell, lashing out at shadows. There was a knife, and somehow he’d gotten hold of it and…
His stomach turned, and Dorian closed his eyes, hiding tears of shame.
“None of us knew whether we could actually bring you back from that darkness,” Aiden said, “but I was willing to try. For whatever reason, I was always able to calm you in a way the others couldn’t. Gabriel didn’t understand it any better than I did, but eventually he realized his presence here was only causing you pain.”
A hot tear escaped, slipping down Dorian’s cheek.
“And so I remained at Ravenswood,” Aiden said, “while Colin and Malcolm continued their desperate quests from afar, and Gabriel walked out the doors of his home and into a new life in Sin City, where he remained until your father died and he knew—even though you’d never deign to ask—you’d need him by your side.”
It was a long moment before Dorian opened his eyes again, and when he did, he found Aiden watching him closely—not with the look of shame and disgust Dorian had expected, but with a look of love and brotherhood. Understanding.
“You say your brothers abandoned you, Dori,” he said, “but they didn’t. They merely left. Leaving someone isn’t the same thing as abandoning them. Sometimes, walking away is the kindest, most compassionate thing you can do for someone you love.”
For the second time in as many hours, Dorian’s memories spun and blurred, then sharpened again, rearranging themselves to make room for a new version of an old story that had shaped Dorian’s life for decades.
The old stories, the things he’d told himself, the things he’d thought he’d remembered… He’d set the cadence of his life by those things. Used them to forge the iron gates around his heart, walling himself into the impenetrable fortress only Charlotte had truly managed to break through.
In so many ways, those stories—the old versions—had made Dorian the man and vampire he was.
Without them, who would he become? What was left of the Redthorne vampire king when the light of truth shone down on a legacy of lies?
He’d been wrong. About so many, many things.
He glanced down at his hand, still curled over the pages of his dark book. A hand that had slaughtered so many innocent people. A hand that had nearly cut off his brother’s head. A hand that had nearly torn out another brother’s heart.
Fuck off, brother. We’re all monsters, carved in our father’s image, just as he intended…
“What do I do, Aiden?” he whispered, his own black shame nearly shattering him. “Where do I go from here?”
“Forward,” Aiden said. “As we all must go.” He came to stand beside Dorian, reaching down to close the Crimson City Devil book in Dorian’s lap. “When you spend your life reliving the past—whether by tormenting yourself or making amends for things you cannot change—you miss what’s right in front of you.”
“How do I move forward when I’ve still so much to atone for?”
“I don’t have all the answers, Dorian. But I don’t believe we atone for the sins of our past by dwelling there. We do it by living now, moment by moment. Every deed, every word, every thought is a chance to do better. Tobebetter.” He cupped Dorian’s cheek, brushing away a final tear with his thumb. “Let it go, brother,” he said gently. “It’s time.”
“And what of my brothers?”
“I don’t know if or when Malcolm will find his way back, but Colin and Gabriel? They’rehere, Dori. Whatever happened in the past—whether it was two centuries ago, fifty years ago, or even an hour ago—they’re still here. They need you as much as you need them. All of you deserve a chance to be brothers again—brothers as youshouldhave been, not as your father made you.”
