“I can’t answer that for you. But whatever you decide? That’ll be the right answer, Ani. And I’ve got your back.”
“How can I face her though? I murdered her parents. I murdered alotof people’s parents. So many innocents and… Goddess, how do I move on from this? How do I justify getting out of bed every day, knowing thousands of peoplecan’t, because I killed them? Or because I killed the people they loved, and now they don’t think life is worth living?” He turns over to face me again, his eyes shining in the darkness. “All of that is on me. All of it. I don’t know how to live with it. And you… Goddess, Stevie.” He cups my face. “I hate that I hurt you. Every time I look into your eyes, I remember that night in Red Sands—the things I said to you. The things I did to you. And I hate myself for it.”
He’s talking about the night we—well, the Black Sun and I—slept together.
Every last reassurance rushes to the tip of my tongue, but I know they won’t do a damned bit of good. In the face of so much pain, those words sound like mere platitudes.
“I won’t tell you it wasn’t you,” I say softly. “I know you’ve heard that enough times these past few weeks. But if there’s just one thing I can say to you—one thing to hold onto—know this: You areloved, Ani. Cherished. And you deserve every bit of that love. Mine, Kirin’s, Baz’s, Doc’s, and the love of all our friends. You mean everything to us, and we’re not letting you go.”
“But… why? How can you say that after everything I’ve done?”
“I told you—we’re family now. And our family doesn’t work without you. It just doesn’t. So you take as long as you need—take time, space, whatever. Just know that we’re here. Always. And nothing is going to change that.”
He closes his eyes and draws me close, his lips brushing mine in the softest, sweetest kiss. After a minute, he deepens it, his tongue coaxing my lips apart, sliding inside my mouth with a soft moan.
My toes curl, my insides heating up. I missed him so much. His touch. His kiss. All of it.
His kiss turns more passionate, slowly moving down my jaw to my throat. Silently, he undoes the buttons on my flannel, his mouth trailing behind his fingers, leaving hot kisses on my bared flesh.
It’s not long before we’re both tearing each other’s clothes off, suddenly desperate to get closer.
As close as we possibly can.
Naked on top of our blankets, we snuggle together, my leg draped over his hip, his cock pressing hard against my belly.
“Are you okay?” he whispers, and I nod, nipping at his lower lip.
“As long as you keep kissing me, I’m more than okay,” I say.
He leans in close, pulling me in for another deep kiss.
For a minute, it seems like he might be relaxing. Enjoying himself, even. But then he stops, his whole body going still. Hand gripping my bare hip, he says, “Our first time together… It should’ve been different.”
A shudder claims him, a wave of his regret rushing hot and prickly over my skin.
“That wasn’t our first time, Ani.Thisis.” I reach for his cock, stroking him gently, kissing his neck until I feel him relax again. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“No?” he breathes.
“No. It’s already perfect.”
He pulls back again, but this time it’s with a smile. Cradling my face in his hands, he whispers, “You’reperfect.”
He rolls me onto my back and climbs on top, pinning me with his body, enveloping me in his warmth.
Everything about this moment is different from that night at Red Sands. It’s just me and my Sun, exactly as he should be. Pure and real. Broken, imperfect, lost—but still holding a little spark of that thing that connects us all, heart to heart, soul to soul, magick to magick.
Hope.
Propped up on his elbows, he reaches for my face, holding it like he still can’t believe I’m real. I part my thighs, and he slides between them, filling me.
The moment he’s inside me, a sense of utter rightness falls between us. I feel the shift in his emotions, a subtle unwinding as he takes a deep breath and lets it out slow. I start to arch my hips, eager to bring him in deeper, but Ani shakes his head.
“Not yet,” he whispers against my lips. “Just… just let me hold you for a minute.”
“Anything,” I breathe.
“I need to say something.” He kisses me once, then pulls back, his gaze sweeping my face, settling on my eyes. “You brought me back. You fought for me when I didn’t even have the strength to fight for myself, and you brought me back.”
