“Doesn’t mean he isn’t just as bad as the rest of us. Or worse.”
I laughed. “Oh, yes. Hudson’s a real monster, all right.”
“Haley—”
“As hard as it is to believe, some guys reallyaregenuinely kind and sweet.”
“And some are just good at putting on a show.”
I patted his chest. “And thanks to all ofyours, I’ve developed a keen bullshit detector. So, as much as I appreciate your opinion about my bedroom companions—which is not at all—I don’t need a babysitter.”
“I’m just telling you to be careful. I know you guys are getting close, and that’s fine. Just don’t piss him off. He’s not—”
“If he’s so big and bad, why is he even here?” I finally glanced up at him again. “I thought you trusted him. You said he’d always have my back.”
“Yeah, within the parameters of this mission—protecting you and getting you in and out of Midnight. How was I supposed to know you two would get cozy?”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Really? Do you ever wonder why a thousand-something-year-old gargoyle looks like he could be the frontman of a motorcycle club?”
“His lifestyle choices have nothing to do with—”
“It’s not a lifestyle choice, Haley. It’s basic mythology. When a human dies by a gargoyle’s hands—either by outright murder or by the neglect of his duty—the gargoyle incorporates part of that human’s soul into his own, kind of like an atonement. He carries it with him for the rest of his eternal life. Hudson’s whole big, burly teddy bear thing you love so much? That’s not entirelyhis.”
“You’re saying he’s just… acting out some other guy’s life? A guy hekilled?”
“No, he’s not acting. His thoughts are his own, his values, the man he is at his core. But certain aspects of his personality, the way he looks and dresses, the way his words form into thoughts, the way he’d talk if he could... It’s hard to explain, but a lot of what you’re seeing and reacting to is essentially a piece of someone else.”
“A piece of… someone he killed?”
“Notsomeone.Allthe ones. Including some you haven’t seen yet. Andthat’swhat worries me, Haley. The ones you haven’t seen. Because some of those aspects are downright—”
“Again. You’re being ridiculous.”
“I’m just telling you your sweet little cuddle-buddy isn’t all he’s cracked up to be, and all I ask is that you be a little smarter about that.”
I shook my head. Nothing Elian had said would change the way I felt about Hudson. If this soul-incorporating thing was part of gargoyle mythology, then it was all just part of what made Hudson who he was—a friend I’d come to care about. One I trusted with my life.
One who was probably as tired of Elian’s bullshit as I was.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Trying to protect you from—”
“No. You’re not acting like a concerned friend. You’re acting like a jealous ex. All this stuff about Hudson? You know damn well he’d never hurt me, no matter what kind of soul-mashup he’s got inside. You’re just pissed because you think I slept with him.”
He huffed. “Didn’t you?”
“Literally, yes. As in, I curled up against his chest, with all my clothes on, and fell asleep. And it was the best night’s rest I’ve had since we got here, so please prepare yourself, because it might just happen again, and I wouldn’t want you to get all hyper-protective and vamp out on me over—”
“For fuck’s sake.” He finally broke away from me, giving me some much-needed air, but it was only so he could reach into his pocket for another little black pill.
It was the first I’d seen one up close, tiny and unassuming, and I watched with fascination as he pressed it to his tongue, magick swirling briefly in his mouth before he snapped it shut and swallowed.
When he looked at me again, the tension had left his jaw, his eyes turning even darker and more glazed than before.
He was killing himself. Fucking killing himself, one little pill at a time.
