I shook my head, not even sure where to begin. “He lied to me about… about something hedamnwell shouldn’t have.”
“Oona,” she whispered, and my eye shot open to meet her gaze. Her eyes shone bright with sympathy, and she reached up to touch my face. “I saw her, Jax. After Keradoc brought me to the suite, she showed up with a report on Darkwinter’s ships. You saw her too, I’m guessing.”
“She found us in the dungeons. She was as surprised to see me as I was to see her, believe me.” Fresh anger simmered to a boil inside, and it took some monumental restraint for me not to slam my fist into the rock wall. “He told me she was murdered, Haley. Swore it on our oath. It’s the only reason I agreed to leave Midnight. He knew I would’ve stayed behind otherwise.”
“He must’ve had his reasons for lying.”
“Sure.” My laugh rang hollow in the cramped space of the stairwell. “Just like he had his reasons for abandoning you and breaking your heart?”
I regretted the words as soon as they escaped my mouth, but Haley didn’t flinch.
“I’m not saying they’regoodreasons,” she said. “Only that Elian isn’t… I don’t know. He hurts people, Jax. Fucks us over in ways we probably don’t even know about half the time. But he’s not cruel.”
“Does it make a difference? Someone stabs you with a blade, you’re still bleeding—maybe even dying—whether they meant it or just tripped and fell in the dark.”
Haley shook her head. “I have to believe he had his reasons for the lies, the abandonment… even if we don’t know or understand them. And no, I’m not making excuses for him—what he did to you was a dick move. Aseriouslydick move that I’m ready to strangle him for on your behalf. But is that really enough to just… just leave him for dead?”
“You know what, angel? Yes. Itisenough. You know why? Because I’m fucking sick of it. Saint’s got reasons for everything—as many reasons as he’s got pills, and I’ve been putting up with both for far too long.” I turned my back and continued down the stairwell, hoping like hell she’d just shut up and follow me. We hadn’t even reached the executive level yet, and I still needed to figure out how to disguise her from the party guests, dodge the guards, avoid another encounter with Keradoc…
But there was no angel behind me. Only darkness.
I climbed the few steps back up to her and reached for her hand. She didn’t resist, but didn’t move from her spot against the wall.
“I left him in the cell with Oona,” I explained. “She’s the lieutenant general. She’ll get him out. The two of them will hatch some scheme, make their escape, andverylikely find some other poor sucker to swindle along the way, but I’ll tell you something, Haley. It’s not going to be me. And it’s not going to be you, either. So you know what?FuckSaint. Let’s go.”
“We’renotleaving him here, Jax.”
“Sorry, angel.” I shook my head. “I’m done. Done choosing Saint when all he does—all he’severdone—is choose himself. Every fucking time, every opportunity to do the right thing, he picks wrong. If the situations were reversed, he’d throw us both to the ghouls without a second thought.”
“I wish that were true. It would make everything a lot easier, including telling Elian to fuck off for good.” A sad smile curved her lips, a tear slipping down her cheek. “But you don’t believe it any more than I do, so stop trying to convince yourself.”
“I’m not the one who needs convincing. I’m...” I took a deep breath, tried to put Saint out of my mind. This wasn’t about him. Not anymore. “Listen to me, angel. Everything else aside? I made a promise that I’d get you out of here tonight, no matter what.You’rethe priority here—for me and Saint both.”
“Unfortunately, I made a promise too. Before we left New Orleans, I told you I’d have your backs in this place—all of you. I gave my word, and that means something to me, Jax. Even without a matching secret-society skull tattoo. So if you have that much contempt for Elian—if you’re truly ready to turn your back on everything he ever meant to you, I won’t blame you. But I won’t join you, either.” She turned her face and kissed my palm, then pushed past me on the stairs. “Tell me how to get to the dungeons, or I’ll have to find my own way there.”
“Wait,” I said, blowing out a heavy sigh. “Wait.”
I put a hand on her bare shoulder, and she stopped, her muscles tense, her hair tickling my skin.
“I’ll take you to him,” I said softly. “We’ll get him out. But only if I can beat his ass later, and you promise not to interfere.”
Without turning around, she put her hand on top of mine and squeezed. Then, in a soft melodic voice that lifted my spirits right out of the darkest depths, she said, “Jax? If you’re beating that boy’s ass later, not only will I not interfere, but I’ll be the one cheering for you in the front row with a bag of white cheddar popcorn and a peach margarita, andthatis a promise.”
12
HUDSON
Iwasn’t one of them twisted fuckers who got off on pain, but when I finally regained consciousness? Goddamn, was I ever wishing for it.
Pain woulda meant I was still alive. Pain woulda meant my muscles and nerves still worked, and if they still worked, maybe I still had a chance at saving my girl.
But right now, there was only darkness and silence and a cold, empty ache where my heart should’ve been. My entire body was locked in my stone form, but it wasn’t by choice. I couldn’t shift into my warrior or human form, couldn’t sense all the things I should’ve been able to sense as a gargoyle—where the fuck I was, for starters.
It meant one of two things.
I was either dead…
Or Marco’s sunshine bullets were working some seriously dark mojo, keeping me locked up and helpless, just like the spell the fucker had used on me back in the day.
