“No, angel. I really don’t.” No point. It was all in the past now. A past I’d just as soon bury than drag out into the light for Haley or anyone else to sift through. “What I felt for her back then? It’s gone. Even if she hadn’t lied to me, I just don’t feel that way about her anymore.” I glanced up at her. “I’m not making any assumptions about what you feel or don’t feel for me, Haley. But Oona’s not someone you need to worry about. Ever.”
“That’s not why I was asking.” Haley sighed and shifted her legs between mine, sending tiny ripples across the surface of the water that lapped at my chest, right beneath my tattoo. “It’s just… You and Elian have this crazy-intense bond—it’s so obvious you care for each other. Deeply. But then there’s this huge wall between you, and I know it’s not just about what happened with Oona. I can feel it, Jax.”
“That wall took lots of years and lots of fuckups to build.” I reached between my thighs and grabbed her foot, sliding my thumb over her arch. “Fuckups on both sides, as much as I’d love to blame it all on him. And a wall like that won’t come down overnight—not even at the request of animpossiblystubborn blood witch with superior negotiating skills.”
She laughed, the sound of it erasing all the cobwebs from my past. “I don’t know about all that.”
“Don’t sell yourself short,” I said. “It’s no accident I’m sharing my bed with you tonight instead of with the rats and corpses.”
“Withme? Aren’t you a presumptuous little demon?”
“You wouldn’t turn down the last wishes of a broken, bleeding man would you?”
“No, I suppose not.” She blew out a breath, her smile fading once again. “I hate that you’re in so much pain, Jax. You should’ve let Elian heal you.”
“Why don’t you give it a try? I’d much rather your hands on me than his.”
“I don’t know how to do healing magick.”
“But youdoknow blood magick, so maybe you’re halfway there.” I squeezed her foot. “You certainly can’t make things worse, right?”
“That’s a bold assumption, considering I’m operating at half-capacity.” She rolled the iron cuff around her wrist.
“I think we both know I’m just looking for a reason for you to put your hands on me.”
That got another laugh, and she shifted along the edge of the tub so she could reach me better. “Just tell me if it hurts, okay?”
I nodded, watching in fascination as she closed her eyes and ran her hands over my shoulders and chest, brow furrowed, lips muttering an incantation I couldn’t hear.
Aside from the defensive maneuvers in Blackbone Forest and the throne room—both times when we’d been under threat—I’d never really seen her work her magick. Now, I took great pleasure in studying her face, the tiny wrinkle between her eyebrows, the way her chest rose and fell as her breath settled into a deep, steady rhythm.
After just a few moments, a soft, warm light emanated from her palms. Red, as her magick had always appeared to me, but fainter than before. Despite its lower wattage, it warmed me at once, and I felt my blood humming through my veins in response, following the call of her magick, encouraging the gashes in my skin to heal, the bruises to fade.
My pain receded, though whether it was more because of her magick or her touch, I couldn’t say.
Eventually, the magick faded, and she opened her eyes and inspected her work.
“Holy shit!” A new smile broke across her face as she touched the now-smooth skin beneath my collarbone. “Does it still hurt?”
I shook my head. “Good as new, angel.”
“I can’t believe I just did that. I actually did that. I healed you!”
“Oh, I cantotallybelieve it.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“Angel, not an hour ago I watched you stare down the warlord of Midnight. You put the fear of hell in that man’s eyes, and that’s no easy feat. Something tells me there’s alotyou can do that you haven’t quite tested yet.”
“Maybe.” She trailed her fingers through the water, the ripples lapping at my skin. “Jax, listen. I wanted to apologize about before. In the Sanctuary? I’m sorry I snapped at you after the chokeweed thing. It just happened so fast, and I wasn’t ready for it.”
Guilt bubbled up inside, and I took her hand, pressing a gentle kiss to her palm. “You have nothing to apologize for, angel. I can’t even imagine how frightening that must’ve been for you.”
“You saved my life, and I pushed you away.”
“I forced you to relive your worst memory—one your subconscious wanted to keep buried. You were terrified, and you had every right to be.”
She didn’t deny it. “Honestly, I’m still feeling a little… unsettled about it all. I only just learned about what my birthmother did recently. She found us again in the Bay. Wanted us to reconnect and join her fucked-up cause. My sisters and I… we banished her to hell.”
