“You really need to see the monster behind the mask?” I snapped. “It’s that important to you?”
“Actually, yes. I do.”
“I’m not your personal freakshow, Haley. If that’s what you’re looking for, take a walk through the Hollow. Plenty of freaks to choose from, most of them more than happy to show you anything you’d like.”
“Is that what you think? That I’m just looking to satisfy some morbid curiosity?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Jax, I already saw you without the patch in the throne room.”
“I see. So now you just want a closer look? Trying to decide whether you can bear to look at it for however long this thing between us lasts? Or maybe you’re ready to cut and run now, and you just want to make yourself feel better about—”
“Stop.” The word was firm, but her touch on my face was gentle. “I’m not going anywhere, Jax. And I’m not trying to make you feel like you’re under a microscope. That’s not it atall. So keep it covered if that’s what you truly want, but don’t let it be out of shame or embarrassment or some fucked-up story you’re telling yourself about what I’ll think if I see you. I want you, Jax. Every bit of you,” she breathed, kissing my jaw even as I turned away from her, shame still burning through me as sharp and hot as her words.
“I want every sexy line,” she whispered, another kiss brushing my lips. “Every dip and hollow. Every scar, no matter how terrible.”
Silence descended, hanging as thick as the steam in the air.
I turned back to face her. Held her gaze. Searched her face and knew she’d meant every word.
“It was my price, angel,” I admitted. “My ticket back home.”
A soft gasp slipped from her lips, but she’d done it—popped the lock off the vault—and now that those words were out, I couldn’t stop the rest.
“It was Melantha,” I continued. “She was in Midnight at the time. She’s the one who cast the portal spell to get us out of here. So while Gem and the other Midnighters who’d helped us had their own price—a cut of our operations, which we’d be forced to continue in New Orleans—Melantha had another. Money would never be enough for her, no. She demanded one thing from each of us—the most important thing, the thing that truly made us who we were.”
“Your sight.”
I nodded. “For a fear demon, our vision is what allows us to see into a person’s mind and soul. To see their fears.”
“So she just… carved out your eye?”
“She wanted me to do it, actually. But I… I couldn’t. I held that dagger in my hands, the blade heated by fire, glowing red, and I just… I couldn’t do it, Haley.” I held my hands before her, both of them trembling at the memory. “I was damn near ready to shove it into my chest instead—just be done with it. But Saint grabbed the blade from my hands. Finished the job that I could not.”
“Jax! Elian did this to you? He cut out youreye?”
“Not like that, angel. Saint did me a favor that night. There was no joy in it for him, believe me.”
You hurt her demon, and I’ll take the other eye…
Saint’s old threats echoed, but I knew how badly that night still haunted him. He put on a good show, but half the reason we couldn’t stand to be in the same room together was that most days, Saint could barely look at me. The guilt of what he’d done chewed him up inside; I could read it almost as clearly as his fears.
“Just… just take it off,” I finally whispered, all my anger draining away. “If you want to see all of me, take it off.”
Her fingers slid into my hair and stilled when she reached the tie knotted at the back. “Are you sure?”
I nodded, and she brushed another kiss to my lips, so soft and sincere I damn near melted.
With a gentle touch, she slid the patch over my head and set it on the edge of the tub.
It took me a moment to gather the courage to tilt my face up again. To let her see everything up close, the old wounds in all their gruesome glory.
I closed my other eye before I did, not wanting to see the change come over her face. The inevitable horror, or worse—pity.
I held my breath. Waited for the telltale gasp. The awkward stuttering.
But all I got was the tickle of her warm breath on my brow bone, her soft lips as she traced a path of sweet kisses along the ridges of my eye socket.
