“But—”
“Hey.” He tucked a finger under my chin, tipping my face up as he brought his close. In a soft voice, he said, “I don’t want you worrying about all that, okay? It’s being taken care of. You got your hands full here, and that’s a good thing.”
“How do you figure?”
“Ain’t gotta like what Keradoc’s doing, but as long as he needs this spell, I know the bastard’s gonna do everything he can to keep you protected.”
“Imprisoned, you mean.”
“Safe and alive, for as long as it takes for us to find a way out.”
I nodded, leaning into him once more. Hudson wrapped his arms around me, so solid, so warm, and I sighed with pleasure. I didn’t care how many walls Keradoc had built or how many guards he had watching over me.Nothingmade me feel as safe and protected as a single hug from this man.
“Show me what you’re working on,” he said. “I’m feeling a little short on words now. I could use some Haley-speak.”
“All right, Gargs, but you asked for it.” Laughing, I took his hand and led him to the dining table, narrating my progress on the ritual prep in excruciating detail.
Rather, mylackof progress.
After our run-in in the library last week, Keradoc had pretty much ghosted me, which was just fine by me. The following night, I’d raided the library again, scrounging up a few books about Darkwinter history, along with some general texts on summoning spells and blood rituals. I looked for his journals, but no luck. After he busted me looking at them that night, I was pretty sure he’d locked them away for good.
So, for the next few nights, I read. Took notes. Ran a few small experiments—nothing too intense, considering I was still limited by the dampener cuff, but enough to deepen my understanding of how my blood magick might work in a summoning ritual.
My setup was pretty bare-bones, though—I needed some herbs and other ingredients, and I hadn’t been able to find them in the kitchen. After the encounter with the chokeweed, I wasn’t about to go traipsing through the gardens for a few clippings, either.
“You’ll get there, babygirl,” Hudson said now. “I know you will. And if you need shit from the city, just let me know. I can try to find it for you on my next run.”
“Yeah?”
“Make me a list. I’ll help you out any way I can.”
I smiled, but the idea of it made me sad. Hudson and the guys had it way harder than I did, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to help any of them. I didn’t know how to make drugs, and I certainly couldn’t fly over corpsevine fields and guard them from the many vicious creatures of Midnight.
It’d been less than a week since Keradoc had put us to work, and already the guys were exhausted.
Their nightly return to the castle at the end of their shifts had quickly become the best part of my time here, because it meant they’d survived another day. That we’d be together under one roof for at least a few hours before we had to get up and start the grind all over again.
We always ate dinner together, no matter how late it was, and thankfully the food had gotten better—not quite as rich and resplendent as the Feast of Midnight spread, but an upgrade from that first day of cold, bland mush. I fed Elian my blood whenever I could—usually when he’d gotten too weak to resist.
But our conversations were short, all of us too wiped out for anything else. There was no way to avoid it—we all wanted to get the hell out of Midnight as quickly as possible, even if it meant working ourselves to the bone to make it happen.
Later, I’d tell myself each night as I crawled into bed with Jax, or sometimes with Hudson if he was having trouble sleeping.Laterwe’d have time for fun. For lively conversations over decadent meals. For stories told around a crackling fire about that crazy-ass time we all went to Midnight and helped the warlord secure another hollow victory.
Though they were all curious about my magick and the things I was learning each night, they never talked about their own work, and I never pushed the issue. What could they really say, anyway? They were making drugs. Testing them on people. Overseeing the harvesting and production of a substance that would ultimately—if Keradoc had his way—end the lives of hundreds of fae. Maybe thousands.
Fae whose same dark blood ran through my veins.
And yet, despite the cruelty of Keradoc’s assignment, despite the regrets my guys carried about their involvement, there were times when I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the warlord. All this subterfuge, all this violence, and to what end? Midnight had been at war for an eternity. Midnightwasa war. What did he hope to accomplish?
And even if he achieved his goals and eradicated every last Darkwinter fae in the realm, even if he defeated every last rebel faction and claimed Midnight for himself once and for all, what then?
What did it mean to claim a place as your home if you had no one to share it with?
The thought sent a wave of goosebumps rippling over my skin, and I rubbed my arms to chase them away.
Even though I hadn’t seen him, I could still feel the tingle of Keradoc’s magick, still smell a whisper of roses around every corner. It always felt like he was watching me—even now—though I’d never caught him in the act.
“Hey,” Hudson said now, bringing me back to the moment. “You got this. You know that, right?”
