Hawke
Maddie curled into my embrace, a comfortable silence settling in as she tried to process everything I’d just told her.
It was a lot for her to digest, and all things considered, she was hanging in there pretty well.
Holding her close, I stroked her hair, and she moaned softly.
Damn, she was always so responsive to my touch. Even now, after everything.
I didn’t want to stop. Iwouldn’tstop; whatever time we had left, I’d spend it with my hands on her. Naked, clothed, covered in gingerbread cookies or snowmen, I didn’t care. As long as I didn’t have to let her go.
But despite our physical closeness, something still sat between us—a chilly distance that I needed to close.
Now.
I sucked in a deep breath, then let it out, steadying myself. After everything I’d confessed tonight, this one—this final thing—felt damn near insurmountable. But I had to get it out. I owed her that.
“Maddie, listen,” I said, tightening my hold on her. “About before… I know it’s my fault that you left. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. You know that, right?”
She didn’t answer. Just peered up at me, watching. Waiting. Refusing to make it easy on me, which was something I’d come to expect from my fiery little Cupcake.
“I got too far into my head,” I continued. “Totally freaked myself out and took it all out on you. It wasn’t fair. It was downright shitty, and I’m sorry. Truly sorry.”
Not a word.
“I was a dick.”
Nothing.
“A total asshole.”
Still nothing.
“A dick wrapped up in an asshole, tied up in a big red Christmas bow, with dicks and assholes stamped all over it.”
She bit back a smile at that, her eyes dancing with amusement. It felt like a victory, and it took everything I had not to whoop with joy and relief.
“Hmm,” she said, sitting up so she could glare at me a little harder. “When you say you’re sorry, do you mean for making fun of my elf costume?”
“No, I—”
“Or for calling me an idiot for driving in this weather?”
“Maddie, it’s—”
“Or for snapping at me for wanting hot chocolate, even though that’s a perfectly reasonable holiday request, and a simple ‘Sorry, I don’t have any’ would’ve sufficed?”
“I said I was—”
“Or how about for sawing off my underwear and leaving me on the floor after you did all those… all thosethingsto me?” Her smile faded away, her eyes full of new fire, a new blush staining her neck and cheeks.
Guess we found your kryptonite, too, Cupcake.
“Didall those things to you?” I asked, my voice turning dangerously low, my dick stirring at the memory of her lips, her tongue, her soft curls in my hands as I’d fucked that smart little mouth. “I know I’m a first-rate asshole—and you’re just hitting the tip of the iceberg with that list of yours, believe me. But don’t youdaresuggest you didn’t want those things. You were drenched for me, Maddie. You were red hot.” I traced my thumb across her lips, making her shiver. “And you could’ve ended it at any time.”
Maddie rolled her eyes and forced out a dismissive laugh, but I saw right through it.
I slid a hand down and wrapped it around her thigh, making her squirm. “In fact, if I were a bettin’ man, I’d wager you’re thinking about those things again right now, wondering when—notif, butwhen—I’m gonna do them to you again.”
