One of her ravens—Lucinda, I think—hops up on the bed beside her, nuzzling her bare thigh.
Westlyn twists the wet locks of her hair into a braid and sighs.
“You could start by telling me why you left like that,” she says softly. There’s no accusation in her tone, no bitterness. Just a simple request for an answer that’s far more complex than she could ever imagine.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” I reply.
“Well first of all, missionnotaccomplished, because youdidupset me. And second of all…” She sighs, the weight of it landing on my shoulders. “That’s not an answer, Draegan. Just another attempt at evasion.”
“I know, little mortal. I know.”
Hell. Why is this so damned hard? Why can’t I take what she’s so earnestly offering me? I’ve never felt so at peace, so whole as I do when she’s in my arms. And yet I resist it with every bit of strength I possess.
My heart is going to rip in two.
“Draegan, why are things still so… so tense between us?” She finally looks up to meet my gaze. Tears glitter on her cheeks, each one burning a fresh hole in my heart, knowing I’m the reason for them. “I’m trying to understand you, but every time I feel us getting closer, something happens and you just… You clam right up again. Or you disappear completely, leaving me to wonder what the hell I said or did to—”
“It’s nothing you said or did, Miss Avery. Never. It’s… it’s complicated and I…” I trail off, hating how trite the words sound.It’s complicated?She deserves better than this. Better thanme.
“I care for you,” she says. “More than I probably should, given all the red flags. And Ilikebeing with you like… like how we were tonight. And that night in your office. But if you’re not cool with the physical stuff, that’s okay. I mean it, Draegan. We can just be friends if that’s what you want. I’m not expecting anything from you aside from honesty and respect.”
“You’ve got both—I assure you. Along with my vow to keep you safe—thatis unshakeable.”
She closes her eyes as another sigh escapes. “Because you’re a gargoyle. Yes, I know how it works.”
I cross the room and sit on the edge of the bed beside her. Lucinda squawks at me, then finally toddles off in search of something more interesting.
Taking her hand, I say softly, “Because I care about you, too. More than I probably should.” I smile, but I can’t hold on to it for more than a moment.
“And the other stuff? The sex? Is that… not something you’re into?” A soft blush darkens her cheeks, but she doesn’t falter, her gaze holding mine in the flickering candlelight.
Those eyes have the power to incinerate me and send me straight to hell, but I can’t look away.
I never could—not really.
Not that night in my office. Not tonight, watching the others touch her, taste her. Seeing the pure, undiluted pleasure rise on her face in shades that match my memories of the brilliant dawn sky.
“I’m… not quite sure I’ve ever been into anything more, Miss Avery,” I reply honestly. I make another attempt at a smile, but once again it falters in the wake of her melancholy.
“Then why did you leave like that?” she asks. “One minute we were all together and everything was perfect and… I don’t understand. It’s like you resent everyone—that’s the feeling I get. And I’m honestly trying to figure out why.”
I reach up to erase one of her tears, my palm lingering on her smooth cheek. “Iamresentful.”
“But… why?”
It’s a long time before I’m able to respond, and when the honest words finally come to me, every one of them cuts like broken glass as it passes through my lips. “Because they’re… they’re happy now. You… you make them happy.”
I know it doesn’t make sense to her—hell, it barely makes sense to me. But it’s the truth.
Just not all of it.
I lower my hand and take a deep breath, knowing I owe her more.
“Miss Avery. Westlyn… You have brought more joy to our lives in a month than we’ve experienced in centuries. Augustine is cooking again, and I found him in the orchard the other night, photographing the apple trees and a family of owls—beautifulthings, not just the gargoyles we mourn or the men we seek to break. Jude, for all his violent tendencies, is damn near serene, by his standards. Rook… Well, I don’t recall seeing that gargoyle much at all outside the library or his gaming lair in the past, and I swear I haven’t seen him truly smile in centuries. Yet now he walks around with a perpetual grin and a twinkle in his eye. And that—all of it—is thanks to your presence among us.”
“And what about you?” She takes my hand again, the fire back in her eyes. “Has my presence done anything besides make your life more difficult? Because that’s how it feels lately.”
I lower my eyes, shame heating my face.
