Genetics aside, Brian Avery was my father. He was supposed to look out for me. To do everything in his power to keep me safe, not trade me away to the monsters the moment that power ran dry.
When he finally deigns to meet my gaze, tears streak his face, too.
If that man has ever cried in front of me before, I can’t remember it now, and the sight of it lances my heart.
Despite my best efforts to hate him, some part of me actually feels sorry for him.
Something went off the rails in his life—a great many somethings. Happy, content people don’t just wake up one day, join an evil cult, and make plans to sell their kid off to a demon prince.
Even if I wasn’t really his kid to begin with.
“You don’t understand,” he says. Soft. Broken. “It wasn’t the mages I failed. It… it was your mother. It was you, sweet girl. I failed you. And that has already become my biggest regret.”
The admission is the closest thing I’ve ever gotten to any acknowledgment that his parenting was less than stellar, and part of me wants to forgive him, instantly and completely.
But that’s just the ridiculously immature response of a love-starved child still longing for the approval of a father who could never be bothered.
“It’s a little late for self-reflection now, Dad,” I say. “I mean, Brian.Goddess, I don’t even know what to call you anymore.”
“You found the letters, then.”
“And the amulet, for all the good it did.”
“That amulet likely protected you from the worst of Verrick’s influence and allowed you to tap into your fae magic without having it take over your mind. It was crafted by a fae witch from the Summerdale Court—and at a great, great cost. It’s very likely the reason you’re still alive even after summoning the fae king.”
“No. My gar—” I cut myself off, not wanting to explain the gargoyles’ otherworldly presence in my life. I don’t owe him that. I don’t owe himanything. So instead, I say, “My friends are the reason I’m alive. Because unlike you, they actually care about me.”
I hate the resentment in my voice. It reminds me of Eloise, and I know it’s hurting him. But I can’t waver. The best defense is a good offense, and if I let my guard down even for a moment, Brian will find the words to make this all right.
And I can’t let that happen. This can never be all right. What he did to me… It’s unforgivable.
“My mother would be ashamed of you,” I bite out, ignoring the twinge in my heart when I hear him suck in a pained breath. “But I get it now—why you kept me at arm’s length all those years. Why it was so easy for you to hand me over to the Forsythes. You couldn’t punish her for the affair because she died, so you took it all out on me instead. And why not? I was born inept, and another man fathered me. You had no reason to protect me. No reason to—”
“That’senough,” he snaps, some new fire igniting inside him. “A great many terrible things have happened to you, and yes, I’m absolutely to blame for most of them. But you are wrong about your mother and wrong about my feelings for you. When it comes to protecting you, I had theonlyreason that matters—love. I loved your mother, and I loved you.”
“But how? She cheated on you! I’m not even yours! I’m…” I close my eyes and lower my head, the rune on the back of my neck burning as if it can sense my resentment. “I’mhis. A child of Wintermoon. As dark and vile as Zorakkov himself.”
The anger fizzles out of Brian as quickly as it reared its fiery head, and when I glance up at him again, his eyes hold only longing and regret. “You’re nothing like the demon, Westlyn. And no, your mother never cheated on me. Goddess, what happened between us… It was so much more complicated and beautiful than that.”
“Explain.”
“Madison and I were best friends in high school,” he says, “but the truth is, I was always in love with her. She knew it, too—neither of us had ever bothered to pretend otherwise. But she didn’t feel that way about me, and she was absolutely clear on that. I accepted it. It didn’t change how I felt about her, but I accepted it. Knowing where she stood on the matter, I never pushed her for more. Never tried to change her mind or win her over like some reward for a good effort. I think that’s why we were able to remain friends.”
“But… she married you. She left me in your care. I know she eventually fell in love with Verrick, but… surely shefeltsomething for you. Otherwise why did she marry you in the first place? Why did you marryher?”
“The answer to both of those questions is the same.” He catches my gaze again, and a sad smile touches his lips. “For you, Westlyn.”
“I… don’t understand. I wasn’t even…”Yours, I almost say again. But he doesn’t need the reminder.
Brian nods. “That never mattered to me. I don’t expect you to believe me or to even understand, but I truly loved your mother. All of her. You were just another part of her. A part she loved with her entire being from the moment she realized you existed. How could I not love you too?”
Tears glaze his eyes, and that sets me off all over again.
Love? How dare he throw around that word. Does he have any idea what it even means?
“Apparently, you loved the gaming tables a little more,” I snap. “So let’s say we skip the father-daughter trip down memory lane and—”
“It was a ruse, West. Every casino or racetrack I ever set foot in, every bet I ever placed, every card I turned over was all part of the plan your mother and I set in motion the moment she returned from Faerie and realized she was pregnant.”
