“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I grab the very last toaster pastry and take the seat across from Miss Bonnivarde. “Carry on, then.What’s the latest and greatest? This urgent news that can notpossiblywait another moment to be delivered directly into my ears?”
“So glad you asked,” Warren says, but I can tell by the shift in tone that the news is anything but good. “Lizzy, how much do you know about the uprising in Hell?”
Of course he chose to lead with that.
“Thewhat?” She looks at me as if she’d like to pitch her coffee mug at my head. “I think we can safely assume that I’m in the dark about absolutely everything involving Hell. So, you’d better start from the beginning, boys.”
My fist curls on the table.Boys? She’s calling them boys, like they’re all old chums? What’s next, braiding one another’s hair?
Fucking Hell. I can only hope these two heathens have the good judgment to be discreet.
While I make a fresh pot of coffee and scrounge the fringe for leftover scraps, they give her the highlights, covering Hell’s leadership and the ongoing political strife. They do not, thankfully, mention Hell’s desire for guardianship over the portal and the still-missing grimoire.
By the time she’s caught up on the basics, I’m finally, blissfully caffeinated, and I reclaim my seat at the table.
“For the past few weeks,” Warren continues, “we’ve been tracking reports of an upsurge in demonic energies slipping through the checkpoints, both formed and unformed. The portal boundariesarestronger since you two started working on them, but a lot of the old safeguards are failing. The smaller entities are not a concern on their own—a few rogue demons loose in the world of men won’t even register, most likely. My worry, of course, is they’re just a test run for something much larger, and much more dangerous.”
“The chaos demons,” I say, and Warren nods.
“Matthias’s forces have contained the rebellion in the lower realms, but it’s come at a cost. The bulk of his sentries have been reallocated to prevent another uprising, which is leaving key areas unprotected, vulnerable to attack.”
“The chaos demons are moving fast and making gains,” Oliver says. “Several of Matthias’s high-ranking generals were assassinated during the uprising. The rebels are claiming credit.”
“What does Matthias say about that?” I ask.
“He’s denying it,” Oliver says. “Doesn’t think it’s an issue. The rock-headed fuck. He’s a prime target, but his fucking ego won’t let him believe he’s at risk. Thinks no one would dare go toe-to-toe with him, especially since his forces quashed the latest uprising. Plus, he’s counting on you to get the job done up here?—”
“Further securing the portal,” I say, shooting him a warning glare, lest he inadvertently reveal any other details about my task.
“Right.” Oliver clears his throat. “Right, so… like I said. He’s not worried. He’s arrogant, and that’s bad news for all of us.”
“But… what does that all mean?” Miss Bonnivarde asks. “I get that these chaos demons are a clusterfuck, and we definitely don’t want them breaching the portal. But what happens if they get their way? Worst-case scenario?”
Oliver sighs. “Depends on whether your version of worst-case is everybody on earth dying all at the same time in a spectacular implosion, or more of a slow, torturous, dragged-out demonic murder spree with lots of blood and gore. Either scenario is equally likely, along with about a million others, because—you know—chaosdemons.”
“Start with the blood and gore,” she says. “Paint me a picture. We need details, or we can’t prepare for it. And if we can’t prepare, what chance do we have?”
Warren’s smile is back. “You’d better watch this one, Merri. She could be in the running for Matthias’s next commander.”
“Hard pass,” she says. “That sounds like a lot of work for not enough reward. Now, blood and gore. Hit me, Ollie.”
“Demons are an angry lot, by definition,” Oliver replies. “Not the nice chaps we’ve led you to believe. See, we’re all on good behavior right now, sitting at the table like civilized men, because we’ve got big fancy jobs down there for big fancy people, and we need to act accordingly if we want to keep it that way. Also, you’re a sweet girl, and we like you.”
“Aww! I like you guys too!”
Satan, grant me the serenity… to not murder my best mates in front of my student… and set their mangled limbs aflame…
“But chaos demons,” Oliver continues, “take rage to a whole new level. Think of the most violent human criminals you’ve ever heard about. I’m talking real, grade-A shit stains. Then imagine every one of them dies, and reincarnates, but all into a single entity. Then imagine there are millions of these entities, who’ve spent centuries and eons being tortured and tormented in ways I won’t even tell you about because you’d have goddamn nightmares for the rest of your natural born life. Now, imagine all those monsters are banging down the gates to your world, and the force of it, the sheer overwhelming magnitude of it… Hell literally breaks loose, and the portal fails, and every last one of those mega-beasts is suddenly free. Free to ravish your realm as they see fit, so powerful that not even the military could stop them. The military wouldn’t eventhinkto stop them, though, you know why? I’ll tell you why. These fuckers… they don’t operate like your average tear-everyone-limb-from-limb monster. They go for the mental attacks, invading the mind, twisting it until their prey is hallucinating so badly he’s tearing off his own flesh. Setting his neighbors on fire. Eating his own children. And the chaos demons are just as happy to sit backand watch mankind eradicate itself, then swoop in for the spoils when the hard work is over.” Oliver sips his coffee and shrugs. “I mean, that’s just off the top of my head there. Could go another way entirely.”
I roll my eyes. “Thank you, as ever, for the eloquent description.”
He raises his mug in cheers. “Finally putting my Oxford degree to use.”
“As much as I’m sure Miss Bonnivarde appreciates your colorful elucidation of the end times, let’s hope it doesn’t come to all that.”
“Hope is not a strategy, mate,” Warren says.
“So what’s our play, then?” Miss Bonnivarde asks. “Really, is there anything we can do to prevent this? Or at least avoid the worst of it?”
