Somehow, I manage to catch Merrick’s eye, clock the horror reflected there. Despite his paralysis, I can read his thoughts, and he mine.
Nathan Killroy is not a hunter after all.
He’s a fucking chaos demon.
Which means Matthias—the large-and-in-charge demon boss who sent Merrick here to train me on maintaining the portal between realms—is in league with the very monsters plotting to bust through that portal and devour the world of humans.
Awesome! I think it’s safe to say I’m never attending another fucking party again without shoveling in a fistful of mushrooms first, because dealing with this shit sober is literally theworst.
My only consolation is that Brendan looks like he’s about three seconds from shitting himself in his fancy Snuggie.
Oh. Did I mention he’s afraid of spiders? Yeah. I’ll take my laughs where I can get ‘em, considering I might not have that many left.
Shifting as far as he can from the twitching, writhing mass that is Ozikai, Brendan plucks another speech from the How To Play a Cult Leader on TV handbook.
“Behold, the great demon Ozikai, who will broker an alliance between our two organizations: the Council of Underworld Interests and the Wielders of the Righteous Flame. An alliance through which the tainted blood of witches is eradicated, their stain upon both realms washed away, and our path to mutual and endless power ensured.”
There’s much cheering and clapping, because apparently these twats haven’t watched enough movies to realize the key point: dark lords donotshare power.
But then, suddenly, there’s the one guy whistling to be heard over the din. Because isn’t there always the one guy? The dissenter?
Man Bun, maverick of murderers, coming in hot.
“Listen,” he calls out. “I’m all for the mission. But how can we trust the Underworld when Matthias didn’t even bother showing up himself? Sending a representative is not cool, dudes. And he?—”
Ozikai cuts him off with a delicately raised hand, then points his long, thin finger. Spiders gather along his arm, dropping onto the ground like tiny paratroopers, scuttling down the platform and over to Man Bun’s feet.
He tries in vain to squish them, hopping up and down, yelping. But they overtake him in seconds. Devour everything, including the bun.
Then, just as quickly as they consumed his human flesh, the spiders return to their master. There, in the place where seconds earlier a person existed, a red-black smear on the carpet gleams darkly.
“Well, that was a rather impressive display.” Brendan laughs awkwardly, still keeping his distance. “Would anyone else like to voice any concerns before the ritual begins?”
twenty-five
LIZZY
In light of recent developments, it’s time for a quick inventory.
One, the demons—including the one I’m at least halfway in love with—are trapped in agony.
Two, my sisters and I are being held hostage by madmen in mail-order bathrobes and an arachnid-loving chaos demon who, up until recently, was happily wearing Nathan Killroy like a pair of PJs.
Three, and perhaps most importantly… no one is coming to save us.
I close my eyes and take a deep, calming breath. Reach out to my sisters with my energy, just like Merrick and I have been practicing. I feel their fear, their horror. I try to send them some calming energy. Try to reassure them that wewillsurvive this night.
But let’s face it. The odds are looking pretty fucking bleak.
I open my eyes again to see one of the minions wheeling out an ornately carved pedestal, which he centralizes in front of me. On it rests what appears to be a hastily bejeweled huntingknife. Beside it, the grimoire. It pulses with power, its whispers slipping into my mind.
Blood of our blood of our blood…
Brendan makes a dramatic show of lifting the makeshift athame with two hands, like he’s motherfucking King Arthur pulling Excalibur out of the stone and not just some wannabe badass with a bedazzled hunting knife. If our situation wasn’t so dire, I’d be snapping a few pictures to turn into memes.
“Oh great and powerful Lords of Darkness,” he calls out, blade held aloft, “bless this blade and guide us in our most holy mission to rid the realms of witches and purify your chosen vessels to receive the magic of the underworld and beyond.”
He pauses dramatically. A couple of people start to clap, but no one seems sure about it, so the applause fizzles out quickly.
