“Bloody hell!” He slammed his fist into the wall next to him, cracking the plaster. He didn’t care. He didn’t care if it was a duke’s home or that Society deemed a bastard female child from an unfaithful wife worthless. All he cared about now was the pain in his chest that threatened to overwhelm him.
And he definitely didn’t care if going to Sophie’s room in the night would force her to marry him.
As the realization formed, he rolled his shoulders. That was whathe would do.
“Lord Tamworth?”
Jolted by the voice, he turned to find Mrs. Boyd staring at him, tears in her eyes. Obviously, she’d been eavesdropping. “What?”
“Whatever you’re about to do, don’t.”
He frowned, thoroughly confused. The woman was a cook, not a fortune teller.
“You want to talk to her and convince her, but you won’t find her. Not now. Miss Sophie knows the secret passageways of this house better than the servants. If she doesn’t want to be found, she won’t be. I suggest you rest and think about this with a fresh mind in the morning, and not with your heart tonight.”
It wasn’t the woman’s advice that froze him. It was the way she addressed Sophie asMissnotLady. Even with a friend, Sophie was now Mrs. Boyd’s equal. His chest tightened so hard, he was barely able to breathe. He fisted his hands, feeling both insensible rage and complete helplessness. His whole life had been figuring out how to do what he wished despite being told he couldn’t. Now, when he needed his mind the most, it felt as frozen as the ice he’d skated on.
Mrs. Boyd shook her head. “I’m sorry, my lord. I know you loved her.”
The woman’s sympathy melted enough of his thoughts for him to realize the precipice Sophie teetered on. He turned toward the cook and took her by the shoulders. “You must not tell a soul what you heard tonight. Swear to me, you won’t say a word of this toanyone.”
Mrs. Boyd’s eyes were wide, and she quickly nodded.
“No, you must say it. Swear it.”
“My lord, I swear I won’t tell anyone, not even me husband, about what I heard about Miss Sophie. I swear on my father’s grave, I do. I couldn’t do that to her.”
Somewhat relieved by the cook’s honesty, he let her go.
“Will you tell the duchess?”
Mrs. Boyd’s question surprised him. He had no reason to tell anyone. He still planned to marry Sophie. He had no choice. She had his heart. All his plans could go to hell if they had to, as long as she became his wife. Nothing else mattered now.
But it did to Sophie. Could she really dismiss their feelings for each other simply because of her birth and Society’s dictates? As the thought wormed its way from his mind to his heart, a sharp pain filled his gut.
“My lord?”
“No, I have no plans to tell anyone.”
Mrs. Boyd nodded. “No, I don’t imagine so. It’s best if no one knows you knew, should it go beyond the Dowlings.”
He stared at Mrs. Boyd as if she belonged in Bedlam. Did all women fear societal gossip over everything, even love? Even as he asked himself the question, the answer came hard, roiling his stomach. His hurt now mixed with his rage, and he felt bile in his mouth. “If you will excuse me.”
Without waiting for the woman’s response, he strode down the corridor. He barely made it to the servants’ exit before his stomach heaved.
*
Sophie woke tothe sound of knocking at her door. It was the third time in the last two hours. She rubbed at her eyes, trying to get them open. Finally, she managed to look at the door, though why that mattered, she didn’t know. Nothing mattered now that she could no longer feel. The pain in her chest had given in to numbness. Now that she’d released Tam, he would heal and fall in love again, maybe in a couple of years, like he’d planned. Someone worthier of him, who behaved with decorum and wit, not with abandon and forwardness as she had. Someone whosefatherwould approve of him.
As memories of their night in the library filled her head, tears clouded her vision. It must be in her blood. She was a wanton. Yet even as she castigated herself for her actions, she couldn’t regret them. It was all she’d have of Tam.
The knock sounded again and a soft voice came through the door. “Please, Lady Sophie, let me in. I brought you tea and brioche.”
Thankful it was neither Rose nor Georgie, she swung her legs out of bed and stood, only to find she’d slept in her dress of the day before. “Is anyone out there with you?” Her voice sounded gravelly even to her own ears.
“Just me, my lady.”
Sophie moved to the door. After unlocking it, she opened it. As soon as Miss Clark was inside, she closed and locked it again.
