“Goddammit, Mikayla!” he yells out.
I hear rustling from behind me. I don’t know how I know, but I just do. He’s on his feet, and he’s coming toward me.
No! I won’t let him pity me. I can’t hear anymore bullshit. No more!
I move my legs faster, my feet sinking into the soft earth. I realize then that I’m not wearing my shoes. But I can’t turn around now. I can’t let him see me. And I can’t look at him.
The crunch of leaves picks up from behind me and something in me shatters, and I just sprint! My legs flying, my arms swinging with everything in me as I bolt.
The grass is like a cushion beneath my feet. I don’t need my shoes. I don’t need anything or anyone! I can do this. I just run as fast as I can, the wind lifting my hair out of my face as my feet fly away.
“Mikayla!” Caine yells again, and I can hear him running behind me. His steps are louder, heavier.
I don’t know where the speed comes from, but I pick up my pace, sprinting as hard as I ever have. My vision blurs as my eyes fill, but I don’t stop! A sob chokes out of me, but still, I don’t stop! I’ll never stop! I won’t give in. I won’t stop!
I run! And run! And run until… my feet are no longer on the ground. Somehow, I really am flying in the air. I’m still moving forward. My brain is trying to understand how my feet are no longer on the ground yet I’m moving.
And then I feel them… strong arms holding me tightly around my middle, turning me against a hard chest.
“I’m not letting you go!” Caine yells, his breath heavy. “I’m not letting you go!”
“I’m a m-mess!” I burst out, my body shaking as more sobs rack my soul.
“You’re my mess,” he says gruffly.
In his arms, we collapse onto the ground. Like a spider monkey, I wrap my body around him, my arms, my legs, and I hold him tightly. Sob after sob erupts out of me, but I can’t stop crying.
Everyone I love has left me. My dad, my brother, Rock, and my mom. Gone!
“You s-said ‘I’m sorry!’” I sputter against his neck, tears clouding my vision.
“Because you’re sad. Jesus, Mikayla. What the fuck?! I’m not dumping you because your mother’s a bitch!” he yells, grabbing my face with both his hands. “What the fuck are you thinking?”
“I don’t know!” I yell back.
Didn’t Ijust say I’m a mess? I know I’m not being rational.
I can’t see him through my tears. My face is a million degrees, and now I’m sweating!
“I don’t know!” I repeat, but with less conviction.
“Well, I do.” He shakes my face. “I know,” he whispers. “Get ready, sweetheart, because this—you and me, it’s happening,” he states with conviction, lightly shaking my head with each word.
“Okay.”
And he smiles at me, his baby blues sparkling.
“Okay,” he whispers, his lips grazing mine. “You’re fast!” He chuckles softly.
“Shh,” I tell him softly, allowing myself the privilege of just feeling his lips against mine.
I crave the feel of him, gliding my face from side to side. He’s real. He’s here.
When his lips part, I sigh, my heart already feeling lighter. I kiss him, my tongue tangling with his. Back and forth. His arms tighten around me. My arms wrap around his neck. All we do is kiss while he pulls me close.
“I need you,” I whisper against his mouth.
And, God, it’s true! I need his presence, his touch, his comfort and compassion. It fills me with so much joy. And my heart finally feels lighter. In this moment, right here, I feel whole again.
