Lorraine gives Jules a pleading look.“I’m so sorry.”
Suki and Mara both stand, too.Mara gives me a genuine smile.“I, for one, am relieved I won’t have to try on bridesmaid dresses after all that queso with a side of tacos.”
“Same,” I say.“And now we have enough time to try the cupcakes at that new bakery.”
“I’ll get dressed,” Jules says.
Lorraine leaves the room.I glare at her back, and then at the door she left out of.
“Aw.”Suki smiles softly at her phone screen, then turns it so we can see.“Look at these two.”
Lainey, who is married to Bash, one of the Crush players, sent a selfie she took of her and Talia, one of the team’s trainers.They’re both reclined in chairs, dressed in fluffy white robes.Both women have a pale-green clay mask on their face.
“Lucky bitches,” Mara says.
The team had four off days in a row, and Lainey and Talia are spending three days at a spa in Sedona, Arizona.Mara, who is seven months pregnant, is saving all her days off for maternity leave.
“Oh my gosh,” Suki says, looking at her phone again.
She turns the screen again, showing us a video of people skating at an ice rink.After a few seconds, I realize it’s her husband, Carter, Mara’s husband Leo, and Magnus and Isaac, who are all teammates.They offered to let my two sons hang out with them today while we shop.Carter’s girls are there, too, his youngest daughter in his arms.
Noel is there, too, and he’s showing my seven-year-old, Eli, something to do with skating.My heart swells at the same time my stomach churns.
My boys don’t remember much about their dad, who left a long time ago.I don’t allow men around them because I don’t want them getting attached.But Noel is marrying Jules, so he’s family.My sons adore him, but seeing Eli with Noel reminds me of kids with great dads, which my boys deserve but will never have.
“Are my husband’s nails ...blue?”Mara squints at the phone screen.
“Hallie opened a business giving manis and pedis,” Suki says.“Fifty bucks a pop.”
That’s her youngest, and it makes me laugh.
“My husband paid her fifty bucks to paint his nails?”Mara scoffs.“Good thing I’m already pregnant, because that would have done it.”
A few seconds later, she says, “Uh-oh, Blair.You better pick up a pregnancy test.”
Coop, my five-year-old, grins and laughs while sitting on Magnus’s shoulders.Magnus is skating fast and smooth, one hand on Coop’s back to keep him secured.
I smile and laugh at Mara’s joke, but inside I’m reeling.I’ve worked hard to raise my boys well.Before Jules hit it big as a social media influencer, I was a waitress and I picked up every side gig I could manage just to pay the bills.Now she’s putting me through nursing school and covering the bills, which was hard for me at first.
She convinced me to take her help for my kids.It’s changed our lives.My sons play youth hockey now, and they go to a great school because we live in a very nice neighborhood.I don’t have to make them keep wearing shoes that are getting too tight.
Before, I couldn’t afford extras.We rotated between pancakes and spaghetti for dinner.Jules has taken that weight from my shoulders, but I still feel the heaviness of what my boys will never have.
No matter how great a mom I am to them, I’ll never be a dad.Lots of kids have better homes with a single mom than they do with a mom and a dad.I know that, but it still makes me ache to see how happy my boys are right now.
Magnus is tall and fit, like all his teammates, but he also stands out.His shoulders are impossibly wide and he has light-brown hair that always looks perfectly unstyled.He’s Swedish, and he hasn’t completely lost his accent.I’ve noticed he does things with his teammates, but he’s never as all in as they are.He lives in a downtown Cleveland hotel room.
And that smile.It doesn’t come out often, but when it does, hold on to your panties, ladies.
Jules approaches, dressed in her jeans and hoodie now.“What are we looking at?”
“Carter sent me this video.”Suki turns her phone screen toward Jules.
“Oh.”My sister’s expression turns dreamy.“That’s my baby.”
She means Noel, of course.When they got engaged, they went IG official, and the entire internet has said on her socials that they’re the most attractive couple in human history.I love seeing her so happy.
“Ohh ...”Her lips part as she continues watching the video.“Not number fucking one making your kid smile like that, Blair.”
