Well, fuck. A for effort.
"Xavier…” I began, not knowing how to put anything into words. “You have very deep psychological problems...if you think that we can have any sort of relationship after everything that you've done. Did you tell your therapist you killed Alex and how you got me here?”
Xavier leaned on the bed, propping himself on his elbow and looking into my eyes. “No,” he admitted quietly. “But I regret it. Does that make you feel better?”
Better.What a confused and deranged lunatic.
"Yes. Of course. It makes me feelsomuch better that you regret killing the man I love."
Xavier didn’t appreciate my sarcasm, but I couldn't say the wordlovein the past tense. My love was not in the past; it was present, here,now.I loved Alex every second of every day and night. Just because he was dead, it didn't mean that my love was dead too.
I moved to climb off the bed, but Xavier's hand closed around my ankle alarmingly fast.
"Let him go, Jade." Xavier transformed, his voice suddenly cold and forceful. "He's dead. You can't bring him back. Don't suffer for the rest of your life. You have something real in front of you."
I stayed immobile, not having the words to respond and putting all my efforts into breathing and holding back my uncontrollable tears.
So Xavier moved. He climbed off the bed and reached for the top button of his shirt, like this was all normal. Like this wasmutual. His eyes on mine, he unbuttoned his shirt, his lips curving in a small smile.
“Just sleep with me in the same bed. I’m not asking for anything else, yet.”
Yet.
Nausea flooded me, but I forced myself to move slowly, afraid to spook him. I shifted on the bed, an inch closer to the edge, but Xavier was skilled at reading my body language—especially when I was scared and uncomfortable.
With incredible speed and force, he lunged forward, clasping his hands around my hips. “Don’t go,” he ordered loudly, quickly climbing on top of me.
My soul left my body.
He was heavy, so much larger than me, almost as tall as Alex, and he knew how to use his strength against me. He shot his gaze down, and within a second, his hands were already sliding on my arms and pulling down the straps of my dress. Cold air hit my nipples and I gasped, but the look in his eyes—thefirein his eyes when he saw my naked breasts—killed the last of my hope.
God, please, no.
Hetouchedme. His hand snapped to my breast and he squeezed painfully, my entire body recoiling at the way he groped me. I writhed like a snake underneath him, swatting at his face and neck, but he ended it with one swift movement.
"Stop! Enough!" he shouted, and the pain seared across my face, that burn all too familiar. It was shocking every time—the way my whole body ached in pain from a slap in the face.
It was all the same. It was all just like last time, but this time there was nowhere to run.
But I could fight. I punched, but Xavier pinned my wrists to the bed. I kicked, but Xavier trapped my legs with his. Slowly, but surely, he caged me beneath him.
I couldn't cry—the tears wouldn’t spill. My heartbeat thudded wildly, but my mind was sharp. If I stopped struggling, he would stop too.
So I did. Slowly, I relaxed, giving him false hope.
He continued. He yanked up my dress, gasping softly. “You wore these for me?” he whispered, hooking his finger in the band of my thong.
It was now or never.
On his knees in front of me, Xavier unzipped his pants with one hand and pressed into my chest with the other.
I pulled my knees up, ready to make my escape.
“You’re shaking, baby.” My fingers closed around my heel. “I’ll help you forget his name,mon ange.” I slipped the shoe off my foot, the manic glare in Xavier’s eyes rattling me to my core. “Stay still.”
He plunged his hand inside his pants and that’s when I swung. As hard as I could, I rammed my heel into him, getting him right in the shoulder.
“Argh!” Xavier jerked back at once. “Youbitch!"
