“A-Alex, I’m sorr—”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re sorry. Too late for all that shit, Gianna.”
I leaned back on the pillows and closed my eyes, drowning in the physical pain and the emotional guilt. Drowning in my tears at the thought of Jade.
Jade.Moya Malyshka.I had to get to her; everything else didn’t matter, including Gianna.
There was a quiet shuffling of feet in front of me and then the door clicked softly. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know that she was gone. Truly gone.
I took a deep breath in and out and for the first time…it didn’t hurt.
Olga burst into tears immediately. She took one look at me and lunged forward, wrapping me in a hug, oblivious to the pain it caused me.
“Sasha, holy fuck!” she exclaimed. “You look like death! Come in!”
The condo was spacious with a breathtaking view, and I hobbled over to the window, avoiding my own reflection.
“When did you move in here with the kids?” I asked, leaning against the glass to get some respite from the pain. Now that I was mostly off pain meds, I was in pain day and night.
“The night they took him. I just packed all the kids into my car and drove here. Thank God our tenant moved out a week earlier—do you want to eat something?” Olga spoke quickly behind me.
We did. While she cooked dinner, I played with her and Andrei’s kids, their happy chatter so incongruent with my life.
Once she put them to bed, we sat together at the dinner table, and I asked the question I was petrified of, “Do you know anything about Jade?”
She shook her head, extinguishing my hope. “It took a long time for Maksim to find her, but he couldn't get her out. The crew fell apart. Vova disappeared right after Kirill…he…it happened…” she trailed off, and I nodded, having heard about Kirill. “It’s like the world turned upside down that week, Sasha.”
Olga poured me more tea while a clock ticked somewhere. I hated all clocks and all time because every second that passed by, Jade was in danger. I was sitting there drinking tea, and what was she doing? What washedoing to her?
“Stay here and rest, and then we can figure out how to get Jade.” Olga stole glances at me, as if afraid to look.
“What? Counting the scars?”
She shook her head, not wanting to admit it. Olga always played her role very well—housewife, mom, socialite. But I knew her past. Her father was a big name back home and she could probably compete in the Olympics in shooting—her aim was precise and deadly.
“Scars will heal, Sasha.” She reached for my hand, afraid to look into my eyes. “I’m just so glad you’re alive!”
Her hug was so sudden and overbearing that I groaned involuntarily, the pain shooting up my spine. She eased off quickly but didn’t let me go, and I, too, hugged her back. Quietly,we sat together at her dinner table and just held each other, both of us knowing how much this hurt.
How much it killed to know your other half was ripped away from you.
“Stay here and heal, okay?”
I promised I would, but another place pulled me harder. The little beach house. After a week at Olga’s, I unlocked the door and stepped in, the memories suffocating. I stood in the dark living room, Jade’s scent and her aura permeating the air.
What’s happening, Alex? Why are you here?
I can’t stay away. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat…without you. I can’t.
Our time here was so innocent, not marred by the violent world. It was just me and her, secluded, alone.
Delicate.
I wanted to rewind it all. Start from the very beginning. Bring back what was lost and never let Jade out of my arms.
Sour melancholy settled on my tongue. Things could have been so different. There could have been no pain, no heartbreak, no separation. Jade would have had an engagement ring on her finger by now.
Buttheevening finally arrived and Ifinallywalked without a cane. It was warm and refreshing when I picked up Roman, my anxiety scratching at every nerve.
