I’d changed.Not that long ago, I believed no one deserved for their life to be taken, but now? Now I was sure thatsomepeople deserved it.All of it.
"What do you want me to carve on his chest?" Alex asked, his eyes sparkling with that dangerous and contagious energy I got hooked on.
"Think about it on the way; let's go." Roman woke us up from the moment, swinging the back seat door open. “The backseat for the lovebirds! But please keep it PG,” he said playfully, rolling his eyes before heading for the driver's seat. "Damn, can we get a burger or something? I'm starving." Roman’s voice was so casual once he put his hand on the steering wheel, like this was just a regular evening, not the best night of my life.
The car sped off into the darkness, but I couldn’t see anything except Alex. My only focus was on the man who had me on his lap, his hands on my back and thighs, his lips placing delicate smooches on my wet cheeks.
"I missed you so much, Jade." Our bubble of reunification in the dark backseat of a moving car couldn't be interrupted by God himself. "I'm so sorry I broke my promise, baby. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you for so long." Hisvoice. It was pouring into me, slowly filling up that dark void. "Did he…hurt you?"
Something banged in the back. In thetrunk.
Neither Roman nor Alex paid it any attention, and I took my cue, zoning out themotherfucking cunt,too.
"No." I shook my head, staring into Alex’s worried eyes. "He didn't hurt me, but…I still see you dying...every time I close my eyes. Is this real? Are you...really here?" My fingers rested on the nape of his neck, just like the last night we spent together. "Ow!" I laughed when Alex delivered a painful pinch on my butt cheek.
"Real, right?" he asked, almost as unsure as me. His nose tapped mine and he breathed me in, encouraging me to take a deep breath in too.
This was surreal. I was sure this was a dream, just a figment of my tortured conscience, but while I had him in my dream, I had to tell him.
“I’m sorry we didn’t leave. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you,” I confessed with my eyes closed, the darkness hiding my blush. “We should’ve left. Justleft!”
“Hey…no.” His forehead pressed against mine, his whisper just for me. “We both stayed, baby. Don’t ever think that again.”
I nodded pathetically, hiding my sniffles in his neck. But he smelled real.
"Three burgers with fries, a Coke—" Roman piped up from the driver’s seat, and I realized he was at a drive-through. "You want a milkshake or something?" He turned to me, asking so kindly. Who the hell was this man, ordering fries and milkshakes on the way to a killing?
“Yeah,” I rasped. “Banana or chocolate.”
A few minutes later, I was perched on top of the trunk, lightly swaying with every one of Xavier’s kicks from inside, and sipping on my banana milkshake.
Roman and Alex discussed something in Russian, chuckling every once in a while, standing on either side of me. Alex’s arm was wrapped around my waist, never letting go.
“You have to eat something, hm?” Gently, Alex encouraged me to take a bite of his burger. “I’ll make you lunch tomorrow. Your favorite sandwich with olives and all. Just like before.” Hesmiled.A real smile, not one from my memory. I nodded, letting my tears overpower me once again.
Wave after wave, I’d let the relief and happiness consume me, making sure to always be holding onto his hand. As long as I had that tactile sensation, I could convince myself it was real.
But I pushed all my waterworks away when Roman killed the engine of the car once he parked in front of a car repair shop.
It was dark. It was quiet except for Xavier's yells and kicks from the trunk.
It was time.
"What the fuck?!" Xavier shouted as soon as the trunk swung open, his voice cutting through the silent night. His limbs flew in all directions, but before I could even take in the sight, Roman swung his massive, tattooed fist right into Xavier’s face, rendering him immediately limp.
"You know what?” Roman twisted toward Alex with an apologetic gaze. “This is your night, brother. I'm sorry." He said it so lightly, like he was apologizing for butting in line.
"I appreciate it," Alex chuckled, but then motioned for Roman to continue. Roman bent down and hauled Xavier onto his shoulder, gingerly heading inside the pitch-black building.
Regret crept in at the view of Xavier hanging upside down. Both Roman and Alex seemed so calm, but my knees trembled.
“You ready?” Alex asked, the sound of his voice pulling me into a situation that would forever change me.
But the truth was…I’d already lived through a metamorphosis. I turned to Alex, catching the spark in his eyes.
“Yes. I’m ready.”
48
