“If I take a hit…” I looked from the ember of the joint to her pure eyes. “Will you answer a question? Truthfully?”
She took a beat to think about it, the weed inching closer to my lips. “I’ll answer. I can’t promise it’ll be truthful, though.”
I didn’t ask right away, just sat there and continued staring at her like some depraved fucking teenage boy leering at a hot cheerleader.
She stared right back.
Ten seconds.
Thirty.
Jade lifted her eyebrows, the smile on her face making me forget what I’d come here for.
“Why’s full-fat milk good for women’s health?”
The question caught her so off guard that she widened her eyes before bursting out in another fit of joyous laughter. I hid my smile, afraid to show her how much I enjoyed the sound.
She slumped down on the roof, giggling like a maniac. “Is it for women’s health, or yours? You need all that calcium for the reckless shit you do?”
Jade’s laughter died down and she sighed in satisfaction before sitting up and facing me.
“Full-fat dairy is important for women because it lowers the risk for type two diabetes, ensures adequate consumption of essential vitamins like D, A, and calcium, and some studies suggest it may be associated with improved reproductive health and fertility.”
Her answer absolutely floored me. I blinked at her with my mouth open, remarking how quickly she morphed from a giggling stoner to a damn scholar.
“Wow. You’re worried about your…fertility?”
I had no fucking clue why I asked that. I imagined Jade pregnant, glowing, and barefoot in the kitchen. And there was a man beside her…but it wasn’t me. Just some man. Faceless and unworthy.
Whose child would she carry? Who would give her that life that she was, evidently, preparing for? Someone who wasn’t me. Someone else would get her smiles, her tears, her raging fire.
The thought was like a sucker punch to the gut, but why…why on earth was I even thinking that?
“No, I’m not worried.” She shrugged easily. “It’s just always good to maintain optimal health. You never know what life can throw at you.”
With that last sentiment replete with meaning, she passed me the joint.
Ten seconds.
Fiftee—
Fuck it.
I closed my lips around it and took in a lungful. The burn in the back of my throat waspotentand I coughed loudly, realizing how out of practice I was—I hadn’t smoked since high school.
Jade patted me on the back as I got through it, giggling beside me. Ughfuck.This shit was strong.
One hit. That was enough to render me dead to the rest of the world.
It was just her and me. On the roof. Sharing a joint.
“If you…” Her gentle voice floated all around me, having a calming effect. “If you close your eyes and just listen to the waves, it feels like you’re free. Like you’re flying.”
As instructed, I shut my eyes, acutely aware of how close she was to me.It feels like you’re free.
Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was something else, but the thought hit me with the speed of light—this poor girl was trapped, and I wasn’t the one who did it. She was trapped with a psycho father and in an abusive relationship. I was just the cherry on top.
“Like you’re free?” I asked, remarking that she looked like a mirage on this dark roof. She was bathed in moonlight and marijuana smoke and I. Couldn’t. Stop. Staring at her. “Youarefree. You’re not in prison.”
