"He's never been in my bed," I point out.
"I know that, Evie.That's what I'm saying.It doesn't matter what the truth is, people are going to talk the minute you make your courtship public."
I frown."I haven't even thought about any of this."
Veronica gives me a smile that I think is meant to be reassuring, but it doesn't do much.Maybe it's because of the swaying as she rides."You can think about it now," she says."And decide if it's something that you want to deal with.And if it's something you can put Nate through.Better to do it now than when it's too late."
"I love him, is that not already too late?"
She shakes her head and looks forward."Love is only the first step, Evie."
"That makes no sense.All of the love stories end with a declaration."
"Real life isn't a love story," she points out."Can you imagine yourself with Nate in ten years?"
"I can't imagine myself without him," I whisper, though I think my words might be lost in the cool winter air.
"Then you need to think about more than just loving him," Veronica says, either because she heard what I said, or guessed it.I wouldn't like to say which."You need to think about how you could make what you have last for ten years.And what it will mean for the two of you."
"Like what?"
She shrugs."I'm not exactly sure, I don't know Nate very well, unless you count his cakes."
I smile."That's part of it.But he's smart, and creative, and patient.He's got nice arms, and he's a good kisser."
"Some of that I don't need to know," she responds, but there's a hint of amusement in her voice."But that's also not what I mean.If you want to be with him in ten years, then Mama is going to expect you to get married.What's Nate going to do then?He can't carry on working as the castle's pastry chef if you do."
Confusion floods through me."But that's his job."
"How can it be?He'd be expected to host delegations with you, make small talk with officials, and sit front row at temple services.He wouldn't be able to do both."
"Oh."I'm not really sure what to make of that."You're going to tell me that I have to talk to him, aren't you?"
Veronica laughs."You're starting to get it, Evie."
I give her a weak smile.Considering how much she's been right about so far, I know that I should probably listen to her, but that still feels intimidating, and I'm a little worried about what Nate's going to say.
Chapter12
I enter Mama's drawing room to find her already seated with her private secretary behind her.I drop into a curtsy while Marion bows behind me.
"Your Majesty," I say to Mama, before going to take a seat on one of the empty chairs.I arrange my skirts and try not to feel too nervous about what's to come.
Marion settles herself at the small desk behind me, and I already hate it.I feel much more prepared for this kind of conversation when she's in a position where I can actually interact with me and give me advice, but Mama doesn't seem to think that's a particularly important choice.
The door opens and one of the servants enters with a tray of tea and cakes, followed by Nate.Despite the fact that I haven't seen him since my ride with Veronica, and I'm still in a mess about the things she revealed, along with what he said before it, my heart skips a beat.
His gaze strays to me and I see the side of his mouth lift, almost as if into a smile, though it doesn't last long.He waits for the servant to finish putting down the tray and turns to Mama, bowing deeply.
"Your Majesty," he says.
"Chef Matthews," she responds.
He turns to me and catches my gaze before bowing."Your Highness."
I have to swallow down his name, knowing that's not what I'm supposed to call him right now."Chef Matthews."
He straightens up and steps back, not sitting down, or making any move that suggests this is anything more than a formal interaction with royalty.
