"That having a relationship with me isn't straightforward.And that if we want this to last, then it's going to mean that you have to give up your job, or I have to give up my family.That there are going to be rumours either way."
He leans in and brushes some hair out of my face."None of that is news to me, Evie.I know all of that."
"But I didn't realise."Tears prick at the corners of my eyes."And I can understand if it's too much."
He lets out a deep breath."I know all of it, Evie.I've known it for years.Do you not think I've tried not to love you?"
"What?"A horrible feeling settles in my stomach at the words.
"I spent five and a half years away from the castle.Away from you.That's a lot of time to think.For a bit, I thought I was over you."
"And then you slept with Camille."I look down at my mug."I know, you told me."
"I mean, I wasn't going to put it exactly like that," he responds."But yes.I thought that I was over my feelings for you, and I slept with Camille, but all it did was make me realise that I didn't want to be with her, I wanted to be with you.And then your letters came.Every week, I'd promise that I wasn't going to respond to you, or that I was at least going to wait a day longer than usual.But it didn't happen.I would read the letter as soon as it arrived, sometimes sneaking into the ice house or the pantry to do it, even though I should have been working.And then I'd spend the rest of the day thinking about what I was going to tell you and what recipe I might share.You were on my mind constantly for over five years."
"I thought about you a lot too," I respond."And I looked forward to getting your letters.I'm glad you sent them."
His smile reaches his warm brown eyes."I'm glad I did too," he promises."When I came back to visit with your cousins, I thought it would give me clarity.Maybe you'd changed in the five years we'd been apart."
"I'm sure I did."
"You did.But you were also the Evie I've always known.The Evie I fell in love with, and you were right in front of me.That was when I knew I'd have to tell you if I ever came back to the castle full-time.When I went back to Wafeland, I spent the month thinking about what it might mean for my future if you said you didn't feel the same, but also about what would happen if you did."
"What conclusion did you come to?"I whisper, almost not wanting to hear the answer.
"That it doesn't matter what the future holds, you're more important than that.I know that if I want to be with you in ten or twenty years' time, it's going to mean some changes.I'm not sure precisely what it's going to be, or how our life will look, but I know that we'll work it out."
"And we'll still bake," I promise.
The smile he gives me is so genuine that it makes me feel as if anything is possible."Yes."
"I didn't realise you'd thought about all of that."
"It's hard not to when you're in love with a princess," he responds.
"I really didn't intend to make life harder for you."
"The thought of being without you scares me a lot more than what could be in store for us," he promises.
"Even Mama?"
He laughs."Yes.She's just trying to protect you."
"It doesn't seem that way.Every time she tells me something about this, it makes me wonder if she knows me at all."
"Have you let her know you?"he asks.
I open my mouth to protest, but realise there isn't anything Icansay."I suppose not."
"I'm not saying that the meeting today was fun, because it wasn't.It was a reminder like she wanted it to be, but the hardest part wasn't hearing about the people who are coming to try and court you."
I frown."It wasn't?"
"No.The hardest part was wanting to protect you and not being able to say anything."
"I wanted to do that too," I say."I hated that you had to stand there, and bow, and act like..."
"A servant?"There's a slight note of amusement in his voice."I am one, Evie."
