He clears his throat."I must just have heard you say it too many times."
"After sixteen years?"
He shrugs."I misspoke."
I have no idea what that means, but I let it go.It's not really what's important."I haven't yet.But I'm hoping that I can ask her for some suggestions over breakfast.She's good when it comes to dealing with people.I was going to ask her to make me a list of questions that I should ask someone when I want to get to know them.I'll probably use it for Prince Francesco too."I let out a sigh."How is this my life?"
"Because you were born a princess, and this is part of what comes with it."
I wrinkle my nose."This suitor situation is going to get old very fast," I say as I pick up the second piece of frangipane."I know it's not going to go anywhere, and on top of that, there are so many rules that it makes me want to scream."
"I know, I was here when you broke down the other night," he responds.
I give him a weak smile."Thank you for that."
"Always."He brushes his hand against mine."Have you tried explaining to the Queen why you don't want to do it?"
"You mean telling her that I'm in love with you and don't want anyone else?"I ask."No.I haven't told her that.Do you think I should?"
"It's not really my choice."He turns around and leans against the table."I've made it clear what I want, Evie.It's up to you to decide what you want."
"I know what I want."
"Things can't stay exactly the same as they are now forever," he says.
I roll my eyes."I know that."I go to join him, but not before glancing over at the oven and making sure that Ember isn't about to interrupt our important conversation with demands."I want to be with you.I know I didn't really think about what it would mean until recently, but I knew that's what I wanted.I don't want to marry Lady Elizabeth, or Prince Francesco, or any of the other dozens of suitors that Mama thinks are eligible.I want to be with you.I know that no one is ever going to be able to understand me the way you can."
"I've had a lot of practice at it," he jokes.
"I didn't realise how you felt about your job though.I thought you loved it."
"I love parts of it," he assures me."And it's a good job.I didn't take it thinking that you'd tell me you loved me and that we had a potential future together.I took it thinking we'd just be friends, like we were."
"Friends who were secretly in love with one another," I murmur.
He laughs."Apparently."
"It was so much of a secret that I didn't realise myself."
He reaches out and takes my hand in his, giving it a squeeze."But you did."
"Do you really think I could talk to Mama about it?"
"I don't know how she'll respond, but I think that's up to you," he says.
"What if you lose your job because of it?"
"I doubt that will happen," he says.
"And if you're wrong?"
"Then we'll deal with it," he promises."If you think it's right to tell the Queen, then I trust your judgement."
"At least one of us does, then," I murmur.
He laughs."We'll work on you trusting yourself more too," he promises."You're going to be fine, Evie."He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the back of it.
A sense of peace comes over me as I look at him and realise that if he thinks I can deal with this, then I truly feel like I can.
